Escape to Tuscany: Your Dream Farmhouse Awaits in Assisi!
Escape to Tuscany: You Know, That Dream Farmhouse… (And the Reality Check That Comes With It)
Alright, alright, let's talk about this "Escape to Tuscany" business. That name alone practically screams "Instagram-worthy perfection," doesn't it? "Assisi!" – sounds romantic, historical, and…expensive. You’ve seen the filtered photos. But is it really the idyll you've been dreaming of? Well, buckle up, because I’m about to splutter out the truth, with all the messy, imperfect glory of a post-espresso Italian morning.
Accessibility & Getting Arrived (And The First Stumbles!)
Okay, first things first: Accessibility. The website promised facilities for disabled guests, but you know how these things go. It’s a good starting point, not a promise of a smooth ride for everyone. I wasn’t traveling with accessibility needs (thankfully), but I did notice… well, some challenges. The drive to the place was stunning – winding roads, picture-postcard views – but the actual farmhouses… these ancient stones don’t always cooperate with modernity. The check-in was… let’s call it unconventional. There's an outdoor area, or terrace, to take things slowly, which felt like a welcome distraction. It's the kind of welcome that makes you forget why you had to wait for a while.
Getting around is a mixed bag. There’s a free car park (thank heavens!), and taxis can be arranged. Airport transfer is available, a lifesaver after a long flight. But be prepared for some uneven ground, especially if you’re aiming to explore all the areas, which might get tricky if you're in a wheelchair. Elevators? Don't hold your breath—stone buildings age! Expect to rely on good old-fashioned muscle power… yours or someone's kind offer of help. I wish there was better, but sometimes reality bites. Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars (potential to be better, could be worse)
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Fuelling the Dream (and Some Minor Regrets)
The food. Ah, the food! The brochure promised a culinary journey. And it almost delivered.
- Restaurants: Multiple restaurants are on-site. The a la carte menu at the main restaurant was tempting… but also a bit, you know, pricey. There's the promise of authentic regional cuisine, but I felt like I was also paying a "Instagram tax."
- Breakfast: Breakfast was my daily ritual. Think buffet. Think…mostly pleasant. Asian breakfast? Asian cuisine? I didn’t partake, so I can't vouch. Sometimes, it's not that the food isn't good, but it's just…familiar. There were the usual suspects, sometimes with a hint of local charm.
- Snacks & Drinks: The poolside bar was a must-visit. A quick drink to wash away the fatigue. The happy hour was, well, happy enough, though again, the prices were a little on the steep side. And the coffee shop… I will say, the coffee was exceptional.
- Special Needs: A vegetarian restaurant is listed, which is cool, but I didn't see it myself, so I can't comment.
- Cashless Payment & Hygiene: They've got cashless payment down, and sanitized kitchen and tableware items were in place.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars (couldn't have asked for much more)
Relaxation & Revitalization: Poolside Bliss… Or Bust?
This is where Tuscany is supposed to shine, right? The relaxation? The spa? Well, yes and no.
- The Pool: The pool with a view (a stunning one, I might add) beckoned me. It was breathtaking. The water was crystal clear, the sun warming my skin… pure bliss, for a while.
- The Spa: I’m all about the spa experience. Sauna, steamroom, massage… the works! I had a body scrub that was heavenly. I even got a foot bath. Honestly, I could have stayed there all day. There was a gym/fitness center, but let's just say my idea of "fitness" is wandering around admiring the view.
- Other Perks: A poolside bar, that's where I headed after my massage. I was looking for the full zen experience. Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars (spa and pool were excellent)
Things To Do, Services & Conveniences: Beyond the Pool (and a Few Frustrations)
Okay, so you're not just lying by the pool all day (though, tempting). What else is there?
- Services: Daily housekeeping keeps things tidy, and the concierge is helpful. Doorman? Sometimes, sometimes not, it's casual. Laundry service? Available, but not cheap. I did use the ironing service which was a godsend.
- Conveniences: There's a convenience store for essentials (and overpriced snacks). Currency exchange is available, which is handy. Invoice provided, so you can keep track of expenses.
- Events & Meetings: Meeting/banquet facilities are there. Audio-visual equipment for special events if you're planning a big bash. Business facilities like Xerox/fax in the business center are available, but who's using those anymore?
- The "Quirks": There’s a Gift/souvenir shop. The prices were a bit inflated, but you know… souvenirs. There are Facilities for disabled guests, too, although I’ve already shared my thoughts on those.
- The Minor Gripes: The lack of reliable Internet. I had Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!… it really wasn't. Air conditioning in public area - but some parts felt hot. Some services weren't as smooth as I'd hoped. The shrine and shrine.
Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars (some conveniences are good, others, not so much)
Cleanliness and Safety: Safety First (And a Sigh of Relief)
- Safety is a Priority: Hand sanitizer everywhere, and staff trained in safety protocol. Good to see.
- Anti-Viral Measures: Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Rooms sanitized between stays, and Sanitized kitchen and tableware items. They take their hygiene seriously, which is a welcome sign.
- Room Sanitization: Room sanitization opt-out available, which is good for peace of mind.
- Other: First aid kit, Fire extinguisher, CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Smoke alarms, Safe dining setup.
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars (A+ for safety during these weird times)
Rooms (The Heart of the Matter):
- The Good: The non-smoking rooms were a blessing. The air conditioning was a necessity. The minibar was stocked. The free Wi-Fi (when it worked) was appreciated. The bathrobes, and complimentary tea/coffee maker are nice touches.
- The Not-So-Good: The Internet access – wireless, was a bit spotty for me. The soundproofing didn't always hold up to the sounds of kids running through the courtyard. I missed my daily workout routine. The reading light was a bit too dim for my taste. And the extra long bed…I actually felt a little bit small in this room.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars (decent, but not perfect, the internet sucks)
For the Kids: Family Fun (And Keep the Parents Sane)
- Family-Friendly: Babysitting service – helpful. Kids meal – I didn't see it, so I can’t vouch. Kids facilities – I didn't notice any.
- General Vibe: It's family-friendly, but not overly child-centric.
Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars (good enough)
Getting Around
- On-site parking Free car park (thank heavens!), taxi service is easy to arrange. Bicycle parking is available.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars.
Final Verdict: The Dream… with a Sprinkle of Real Life
So, "Escape to Tuscany: Your Dream Farmhouse Awaits in Assisi!"… Is it a dream? Yes, in parts. Is it perfect? Absolutely not. It has its moments of true beauty, the food is pretty good, the spa is wonderful, and the safety protocols are reassuring. However, there are some hiccups. The imperfections? They're part of the charm, right? Embrace the wonky Wi-Fi, the occasional service snafu, and the slightly inflated prices. Because ultimately, that view from the pool, the taste of the local wine, the peace and quiet… those are the things
Tenerife Beach Bliss: Your Dream Belvilla Awaits (OYO)
Alright, strap in, buttercups! Because we're about to embark on a Belvilla by OYO Farmhouse adventure in the heart of Italy – specifically, the charming (and potentially chaotic) Citta di Castello, with a side-trip to Assisi. Buckle up, because this isn't your average, perfectly-polished itinerary. This is the real, messy, glorious life, Italian style.
Pre-Trip Panic & Packing Purgatory
- Phase 1: The Dreaded Planning (and the inevitable procrastination) - Oh, the endless scrolling! I swear, I spent more time agonizing over which Tuscan farmhouse to book than I did actually packing. Belvilla by OYO Farmhouses – a beautiful, sprawling spread out in the countryside. Looked perfect, until I started researching… the drive from the airport, the grocery stores, the potential for rogue Italian mosquitoes… My brain, it turned into a bowl of spaghetti.
- Phase 2: Packing Fail (aka, “How to Pack Too Much and Still Forget the Essentials”) – Let's be real, I'm a chronic over-packer. I convinced myself I needed three suitcases, a small wardrobe, and a first-aid kit capable of reviving a zombie. Then, I forgot my toothbrush adaptor (facepalm). Lesson learned – always triple-check the essentials. And maybe, just maybe, pack lighter. (Spoiler: I didn't.)
- Phase 3: The Arrival Ritual: Before any trip I always check the weather, it is perfect. And I do a meditation. Breathe, breathe, breathe.
Day 1: Arriving in Paradise (and Surviving the Grocery Store)
- Morning (aka, The Great Escape) - Landed in Italy! That first breath of Italian air? Pure. Magic. (Okay, maybe a little polluted by the endless stream of taxis, but still.) The drive to the farmhouse was…well, let's just say the Italian drivers have a certain flair for the dramatic.
- Afternoon: Check-in Chaos and a House Tour - Eventually, we found the Belvilla. Stunning. Seriously, the pictures didn't do it justice. Rustic charm, sprawling gardens, and a view that would make a Monet weep. The only hitch? The key situation. The lock was an enigma. After 30 minutes of jiggling, cajoling, and muttering in broken Italian (which I don't speak), we summoned the local homeowner. He arrived looking like he'd just stepped out of a Fellini film, fixed the lock in three seconds flat, and winked. I love Italy already.
- Late Afternoon/Early Evening: Operation Grocery Shopping and Dinner Disaster - Armed with Google Translate and a prayer, we hit the local market. Italian supermarkets are a sensory overload. Colors, smells, sounds, the sheer volume of pasta… I wandered around in a daze, desperately trying to decipher labels and avoid accidental purchases of something I thought was cheese. (Turns out, it was… something else. Let’s just leave it at that.) Dinner? A valiant attempt at a pasta dish that ended up being… well, let’s say it tasted better the next day when we had some Italian bread.
Day 2: Assisi's Spiritual Heart (and My Existential Crisis)
- Morning: Into the Umbrian Hills - The drive to Assisi from our farmhouse was nothing short of breathtaking. Rolling hills dotted with olive groves, vineyards basking in the sun. The scenery was like a postcard, even though my GPS tried to send us down a road only the locals deemed drivable.
- Mid-Day: The Basilica of St. Francis (and the Weight of History) - Assisi itself? Spiritual overload. The Basilica of St. Francis was absolutely awe-inspiring. The frescoes! The history! I just felt. Overwhelmed. It's one thing to see pictures; another to stand in the presence of such art and history. I felt a pang of envy at those who possess firm faiths. Maybe I should convert, I wondered as I stared at the paintings. Maybe it was just the lack of food that morning. I took a moment and sat on the ground. This is what I need to do more often.
- Afternoon: Lunch and a Wander - We found a tiny trattoria tucked away in a side street. The food… the pasta! It was like a little piece of heaven. I ordered a local red wine and felt myself transform from a frazzled tourist to a dolce vita goddess. We wandered the narrow streets, soaking in the atmosphere, getting lost, and making accidental discoveries.
- Late Afternoon/Evening: Back to the Farmhouse & Stargazing - Returned to the Belvilla exhausted, but rejuvenated. The sunset was perfect and we decided to stargaze. Laying there, I let it all go.
Day 3: Farmhouse Fiesta! (and My Questionable Cooking Skills)
- Morning: A Day of Relaxation - No rigid schedule. Just pure, unadulterated relaxation. I did a little reading on the patio, the only noise was the gentle rustling of leaves. Bliss.
- Afternoon: A Cooking Class or No? - I thought about it. Should I take a cooking class? Embrace it? I have always wanted to learn to make pasta, it all seemed so beautiful. I would sit there and they would teach me, I would make it. It was the perfect day. But I chickened out.
- Late Afternoon/Evening: "Cooking" Dinner (and Praying for Survival) – Okay, so I chickened out. But if I were to do it, I'd aim big. Fresh pasta, perhaps? Maybe a local Umbrian stew? And then my "masterpiece" would be ready and I could eat!
Day 4: Citta di Castello's Charm (and the Unexpected Delight of a Gelateria)
- Morning: Exploring Citta di Castello - After the relaxing from yesterday, we were ready to get going. I loved the narrow, winding streets, each turn revealed a new picturesque scene.
- Mid-Day: Lunch and a Wander - We found a tiny trattoria tucked away in a side street. The food was something I would never forget.
- Afternoon: The Gelato Revelation - Okay, so I thought I knew gelato. Boy, was I wrong. This was gelato nirvana. The flavors! The texture! The sheer joy of that first bite. I had three. No regrets.
- Evening: Farmhouse Farewell Dinner - Time to savor our last night at Belvilla. The pasta (finally) tasted good. We had a quiet night, and reflected on the trip as a whole.
Day 5: Departure (and the Promise of Our Return)
- Morning: The Sad Parade - Packing up. Checking out. The familiar sting of departure. I said goodbye to the farmhouse and to the dream of living in Italy.
- Afternoon: Airport Chaos - The airport was a zoo. Delayed flight, crowded gates… But hey, at least I had gelato memories to keep me going.
- Evening: Home, Sweet, Messy Home - Back home. The world feels a little clearer. And I'm already dreaming of my return to Italy.
Final Thoughts (and My Honest Assessment)
This trip wasn't perfect. I got lost, I ate questionable food, and I probably embarrassed myself on numerous occasions. But it was real. It was funny, it was messy, and it was utterly unforgettable. Yes, there were moments of frustration and panic, but as soon as I was able to relax, it was all wonderful. So here's to Italy, to Belvilla by OYO Farmhouses, and to the beautifully imperfect life of adventure. I'll be back. Soon. (As soon as I recover from the food coma.)
P.S. If anyone finds my toothbrush adapter, please let me know. And yes, I already miss the gelato.
Escape to Paradise: Luxe Farmhouse in Rijsbergen (Utrecht, Hot Tub!)
So, Assisi, huh? Is it *ACTUALLY* as magical as everyone says? Because, let's be real, travel brochures lie.
Okay, fine. I was cynical too. Like, *really*. I'd seen the pictures, the Instagram posts, the "Oh, Assisi, it changed my LIFE" stuff. And I thought, "Yeah, RIGHT. Probably just a bunch of tourists and overpriced gelato." Listen, I’m not going to say it “changed my life” – that’s dramatic. But… it got *close*, alright? It's… different. It’s *quiet*. You walk these cobblestone streets, and the air just… slows down. It’s not just pretty churches, it's the way the light hits the stone at dusk, the smell of rosemary everywhere. Even the *tourists* seemed a little calmer there, which is saying something. The gelato, though? Definitely not a lie. That stuff is the real deal. Get the pistachio. Trust me.
Okay, okay, you’ve sold me on ASSISI. But the farmhouse? What's the deal with *that*? Is it REALLY 'dreamy' like the ad said? Because, let's be honest, "rustic charm" often translates to "leaky roof and questionable plumbing," right?
Ugh, the "rustic charm" trap. I've been there. And honestly, going in, I was bracing myself for the worst. My last "charming" cottage had a family of spiders the size of my… well, let's just say they were HUGE. This farmhouse, though… it was pretty darn close to dreamy. YES, it had the exposed beams, the terracotta floors, the… you know... the beautiful imperfection. The kind of "rustic" that makes you want to buy a ridiculously expensive linen dress and pretend you're writing a novel. (Spoiler alert: I did not write a novel.) The plumbing? Actually, surprisingly decent. There was a small hiccup with a low water pressure situation in the master ensuite, I even got a bit of angry over it- but the rental company, after a minor incident with a very confused Italian plumber that didn't speak English, got it fixed. I didn't regret the upgrade by the end of the trip, and would do it again for sure!
Is it *actually* secluded? I'm not trying to share my morning coffee with a busload of screaming tourists.
Secluded is definitely the word. The farmhouse felt like a proper escape. We had our own little slice of paradise. You could wander around the olive groves (which, by the way, are gorgeous), eat your lunch under the Tuscan sun, and basically forget the rest of the world existed. You'd hear the occasional distant moo from a cow, the chirping of birds, and sometimes, late at night, the rustling of something in the nearby woods. Never actually SAW what, but it was definitely there...gave my imagination a workout. And it was magical. Pure, blissful escape. It was perfect for escaping the noise, the chaos, and the constant demands of modern life. It really felt as far away from the screaming tourists as you could get. It was heaven.
How far is it from Assisi town itself, and is it easy to get back and forth? I still want gelato, after all!
The farmhouse was probably a 10-15 minute drive from Assisi. Easy enough. We rented a car, which I HIGHLY recommend. You'll want to explore other towns too, trust me. The roads are winding, and the parking can be tricky in Assisi (bring patience, and maybe a tiny car), but the drive itself is part of the experience. Those Tuscan views… oh, man. Worth it. Totally worth it. Gelato accessibility? Crucial. We were in Assisi for gelato at least twice a day. No judgment here. Totally understandable.
What about the kitchen? Is it actually set up to *cook* in, or just for making a coffee and staring longingly at a jar of pasta sauce?
This is a HUGE deal for me. I love to cook, and I've stayed in some holiday rentals where the "kitchen" was basically a glorified broom cupboard. This kitchen was legit! It felt very...Italian. Plenty of counter space, a decent oven, and even enough pots and pans that I managed to make a decent (if I do say so myself) ragu. There were little things like a lemon squeezer, which felt lovely and very Italian. They had stuff. Stuff you need! Not just enough to survive but enough to make you WANT to cook. The grocery shopping? That's the really fun bit. Find the local markets, fill your basket with fresh produce, and maybe practice your (terrible) Italian with the vendors. It’s all part of the experience. And the best part? Eating your delicious (or at least, edible) creation on the patio, with a glass of local wine, watching the sunset over the Tuscan hills. Sublime.
What other towns/activities are nearby that are actually GOOD and not just tourist traps?
Okay, so, Assisi is great, but don't limit yourself! Spolet is nearby and absolutely stunning. Less crowded, more *real*. Orvieto, with its incredible cathedral. Definitely go. And then there's Perugia, the capital of Umbria. Wonderful chocolate! Honestly, just get in the car and drive. Get a map, ask the locals (even if you mangle the Italian language), and just get lost. Some of the best discoveries happen when you don't have a plan. Maybe take a pasta-making class. It's Tourist Trappy, but I totally did it (don't judge, it was a good time), even it was a little over-the-top and I looked like an idiot, who cares!
Any downsides? Anything you *didn't* love? Don't sugarcoat it.
Alright, alright, the brutal truth. There was one slight issue. The… ants. Tiny, persistent little critters. They were everywhere. Constantly. Not a plague, mind you, but they were a minor annoyance. They were cute at first… tiny little Italian ants! But when you’d left a tiny crumb out, you pay the price. I am very bad at the crumb situation. And they particularly loved the kitchen. I’m talking, I'd leave a single olive pit on the counter, and BAM. Ant party. It's a farmhouse, so I guess it's to be expected. Plus, there’s a whole thing about being conscious and not using pesticides, so… I tried to be zen about it. And the wifi wasn’t amazing. It was… *there*. Enough to check emails and post a few jealousy-inducing photos on social media, but not strong enough for any serious streaming or anything. Okay, I’m being honest, the wifi was a letdown. You'll learn to appreciate the slower pace, though. And, okay, the mosquitos at dusk. But hey, the beauty of the place more than madeMountain Stay
