Escape to Italy: Romantic Montone Getaway (Belvilla Garden Apartment)
Escape to Italy: Romantic Montone Getaway (Belvilla Garden Apartment) - A Messy, Honest Review
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your average sanitized travel blog. I've just returned from a whirlwind trip to the heart of Umbria, Italy, specifically the charming medieval town of Montone, and my stay at the Belvilla Garden Apartment has left me feeling… well, a mix of utterly blissful and slightly bewildered. Let's get messy, shall we?
First Impressions (and a near panic attack about the winding roads)
The drive up to Montone itself is an experience. Seriously, if you're prone to car sickness, pack the Dramamine. The roads are narrow, seriously winding, and peppered with cyclists who seem to have a death wish (no shade, just observation!). But then… bam! You arrive in Montone, a postcard come to life, and suddenly all that white-knuckling feels worth it. Our apartment, nestled within a historic building, promised a romantic getaway. And, blessedly, it mostly delivered.
Accessibility: A mixed bag… mostly. (And my own klutziness)
Now, I'm not specifically assessing this for someone with mobility issues, but here's the deal: Montone is hilly. Like, really hilly. The apartment itself had some steps, so "wheelchair accessible" is definitely not in the cards. Inside the apartment, things were manageable. I'm a klutz though; I tripped over a rug (classic me) and almost took out a Renaissance vase. My own fault, but worth noting: watch your step!
Cleanliness and Safety: Okay, this is where they rock.
Alright, let's be brutally honest. In the age of the plague, cleanliness is THE name of the game. And Belvilla? Seriously, they’re on it. The apartment smelled clean. I mean, properly clean, not just that air-freshener-sprayed-to-death clean. They had anti-viral cleaning products and everything. Daily disinfection of common areas? Check. Rooms sanitized between stays? Check. Seriously, it felt safer than my own apartment back home, which, let's just say, could use a bit more…attention. Hand sanitizer was everywhere. They even offered room sanitization opt-out! (I took them up on it; felt less wasteful). And the staff? Trained like ninjas in safety protocol.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Buongiorno, Belly!
- Restaurants & Dining: Montone has some amazing restaurants. While I didn't eat in the Belvilla apartment (it's a self-catering situation, which is cool), the options nearby were phenomenal. There were a few restaurants close by. I can't comment on their particular offerings, but I’d put down money that any restaurant in montone will be a delicious experience.
- Breakfast: The apartment itself didn't offer breakfast. However, the local bakery in town had some amazing croissants and cappuccinos, which totally saved the day. I also bought some amazing local jams.
- Snack Bar/Bar: There was no snack bar here, but there's a charming bar in the town square, perfect for an evening aperitivo. Seriously, that's where I met my soulmate (a fluffy Italian Greyhound named Enzo).
- Vegetarian: I'm not a vegetarian, but Italy is generally vege-friendly.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax (or, my Sauna Nightmare)
Okay, this is where things get…interesting. Belvilla doesn't have a spa, or a pool, or any of those fancy-pants things. This is a straightforward apartment, not a resort. HOWEVER, Montone itself is the spa. Wandering through the cobbled streets, getting lost in the little alleyways, that's the relaxation.
That One Time I Tried to Learn Italian (and Failed Miserably)
I swear, the Italian language sounds beautiful, but trying to speak it is like wrestling a greased pig. I tried to order a pizza at the trattoria, and I think I ended up ordering a side of…goat cheese? The waiter just smiled, shook his head, and brought me a delicious pizza anyway. Bless him.
Services and Conveniences: Mostly Convenient
- Internet: Free Wi-Fi in the apartment! Excellent. Internet access – wireless – fantastic. (Though the connection did have its moments of "dial-up in the 90s" slowness at times.)
- Air Conditioning: Essential. Absolutely essential, especially in peak summer.
- Luggage Storage: Helpful, especially if you arrive early or have a late departure.
- Daily Housekeeping: Daily housekeeping!
- Concierge: No formal concierge, however, the apartment manager was wonderfully helpful and happy to provide advice.
- Cash Withdrawal: There were banks a short walk away that provide a chance to withdraw.
For the Kids:
No official kids' facilities, but Montone itself is pretty family-friendly. The local park, with its playground, was a good spot for kids to run around.
Available in all rooms… the basics
Additional toilet- Nope. Air conditioning? Yes. Alarm clock? Yes. Bathrobes? Nope. Bathroom phone? Nope. Bathtub? Yes. Blackout curtains? Yes. Carpeting? Mostly. Closet? Yes. Coffee/tea maker? Yes. Complimentary tea? Yes. Daily housekeeping? Yes. Desk? Yes. Extra long bed? Excellent. Free bottled water? Sometimes. Hair dryer? Yes. High floor? Depends which apartment. In-room safe box? Yes. Internet access – LAN, some buildings have this. Internet access – wireless? Yes. Ironing facilities? Yes. Laptop workspace? Yes. Linens? Wonderful. Mini bar? Nope. Mirror? Like, many. Non-smoking? Yes. On-demand movies? Doubtful. Private bathroom? Yes. Reading light? Yes. Refrigerator? Yes. Safety/security feature? Yes. Satellite/cable channels? Yes. Scale? Nope. Seating area? Yes. Separate shower/bathtub? Yes. Shower? Yes. Slippers? Nope. Smoke detector? Yes. Socket near the bed? Yes. Sofa? Yes. Soundproofing? Yes. Telephone? Yes. Toiletries? Yes. Towels? Yes. Umbrella? I hope so! Visual alarm? Likely, I never encountered one. Wake-up service? Ask at reception. Wi-Fi [free]? Yes. Window that opens? Yes.
Getting Around: The Great Taxi Conundrum & other Transportation Issues
- Airport Transfer: They might be able to help arrange this, but probably not. It's a small town, so pre-booking is likely necessary.
- Car Park [free of charge]: Parking was available, and close by!! This was a massive plus. The streets are tight.
- Car park [on-site]: Nope, but nearby.
- Taxi service: Good luck! You're probably best off with a pre-booked taxi.
The Verdict: Would I Go Back?
Absolutely. Despite the winding roads, my clumsy moments, and the lack of a spa (which, let's be honest, I probably wouldn't have used anyway), the Belvilla Garden Apartment in the heart of Montone was the perfect base for an unforgettable, romantic getaway. It was clean, comfortable, and authentically Italian. It embraced the imperfect, the quirky, and the utterly charming. It wasn't your cookie-cutter, bland hotel experience. It was an experience. And I'm already dreaming of going back — maybe I'll finally master "grazie" next time. Rating: 4 out of 5 stars (mostly for the delicious pizza and the fact that I didn't fall down the stairs).
Escape to Paradise: Your Dream Bungalow Awaits in Voorthuizen, Netherlands!
Okay, buckle up Buttercup, because this isn't your typical travel itinerary. This is my diary of disaster and delight in Montone, Italy. And, well, it involves a little apartment I'm calling "Appartamento Garden 2 pax" – though the "pax" count might be optimistic after I'm done with it…
My Belvilla by OYO Montone Meltdown (and Maybe Magic)
Day 1: Arrival – The Olive Oil Odyssey (and the Existential Dread)
- 14:00 - Arrival: Okay, showtime! Landed in Florence (a gorgeous flight! Until a crying baby decided my ear canal was a soundproof boudoir, of course). Picked up the rental car. It's…a Fiat. "Sporty"? More like "I hope it makes it up the hill, because Montone is on a hill." The drive was scenic, utterly breathtaking even (once I stopped worrying about the hairpin turns), but the GPS lady had a serious vendetta against my sanity. She kept "recalculating." Constantly. Honestly, Florence traffic was a joke compared to her.
- 16:00 - Check-in: Found the apartment (thank GOD for Google Maps finally clicking). "Appartamento Garden 2 pax" – sounds romantic, right? It is…kind of. The garden is lovely, overgrown with what I think are flowers (I'm no botanist, more like a "survive-the-week-without-killing-everyone" type). But the key situation? A total head-scratcher. Instructions unclear. Panic ensued. Eventually, a very apologetic (and cute) neighbor came to the rescue. Turns out, I should have turned the key… the other way… I'm already a professional tourist.
- 17:00 - Reconnaissance Mission: First mission: Find food. Montone itself. Stunning views. Every corner a postcard. The village is basically a giant, cobbled staircase. I huffed and puffed, already feeling like I’d run a marathon. Found a little alimentari (grocery store – finally!), but my Italian is…well, it's embarrassing. Ended up gesturing wildly and buying a loaf of mystery bread and some cheese that smells suspiciously like socks (but, hey, adventure!).
- 19:00 - Evening Aperitivo (Solo, Obviously): Found a tiny bar that looked like it hadn't changed since the Renaissance. Ordered a Campari spritz. It, and the view, were perfect. Then, the existential dread kicked in. "Am I really doing this? Alone? Did I pack enough socks?" Yep, I do this on vacations.
- 20:00 - Dinner at La Locanda Del Capitano: This place…amazing! The waiter, Dario, was a dream. He patiently explained the entire menu, even though my Italian was still stuck at "pizza" and "ciao." I went for the Tagliatelle with wild boar ragu. Honestly? The best pasta I've ever eaten. Pure, unadulterated happiness. Maybe Italy wasn't going to be a total disaster after all.
- 22:00 - Bedtime (and the Mosquito Wars): Slept in the bed. Mosquitoes. Mosquitoes! They were like tiny, buzzing vampires. I fought a valiant battle with the bug spray (not my finest moment).
Day 2: Culture Shock (and a Near-Death Experience with a Vespa)
- 08:00 - Coffee and Contemplation: Made myself some coffee (thank goodness for the little coffee machine in the apartment!). Sat on the balcony, surrounded by the morning birdsong. The sun was gorgeous, the air crisp… Briefly considered how I might actually be falling in love with this little apartment.
- 09:00 - Montone Exploration… and a Vespa Scare: Wandered the town. Found a church. Felt the vibe. Tried to take some stunning photographs, failed miserably because my phone’s camera is rubbish. Then! Found a Vespa. A BEAUTIFUL, VINTAGE, Red Vespa. Considered how cool I would look zooming through the winding streets. (I have zero motorcycle experience). Almost rented one. And then, thankfully remembered all the times I’ve faceplanted in public. Realized I'd be a danger to myself (and everyone else). So, walked.
- 12:00 - Lunch at Osteria La Taverna: Another restaurant triumph! Ordered something that might have been a soup, or maybe a stew. It was delicious. The waiter, bless him, kept refilling my water glass even though I was probably only drinking half of it.
- 14:00 - Olive Oil Museum (and Epiphany!): Okay, here's where it gets REALLY good. This museum is a total hidden gem! I thought I was gonna be bored stiff (seriously, is there anything LESS glamorous than an olive?), but it was fascinating. Learned everything about olive oil production. Even, more importantly, tasting all the different oils. Changed my world. Pure liquid gold! I will forever judge all olive oils from now on. Also, I was shocked to learn that my usual olive oil purchase is, in fact, "industrial waste"
- 16:00 - The Great Hill Climb (Round 2): Attempted to summit the other side of Montone. This time, armed with a bottle of water and a grim determination. It was a struggle. But the view from the top? Worth it. Seriously. Felt like I could conquer the world. Or at least, the small, beautiful village of Montone.
- 19:00 – Pre-Dinner Drinks (Again!): Back to the tiny bar. This time, ordered a prosecco. Feeling surprisingly relaxed. The Italian way of life… I think I’m starting to get it. Or maybe it's just the bubbles.
- 20:30 - Dinner at Ristorante Il Fornaccio: This place was a treat. It looked like a fancy place. I, therefore, wore my one decent dress. The food was incredible (another pasta dish – surprise!). Sat outside, surrounded by fairy lights. Ate too much, drank too much wine, and felt absolutely, utterly content.
- 23:00 - Stargazing (and Existential Rambling): The sky in Montone is insane. So many stars! Sat on the balcony for an hour, gazing at the Milky Way. And then, inevitably, the existential thoughts hit again. "What am I doing with my life?" "Should I have ordered the tiramisu?" "Is that a bat?" Yep. Tourist life.
Day 3: The Search for Truffles (and the Unexpected Emotional Breakdown)
- 08:00 - Croissant Catastrophe: The bread from the alimentari was… hard. Bought a croissant. It was sad.
- 09:00 - Truffle Hunting Experience (Supposedly Fun): Booked a truffle hunting tour. The idea was amazing. The reality? Less so. I managed to trip over a root. The dog was a bit grumpy because probably I am also grumpy. The truffle-hunting was, frankly, anticlimactic (though the forest was stunning). Didn't find any truffle. Then the guide found a big truffle, showed me. The truffle smelled incredible, I have to admit. It was a bit of a lesson in perspective.
- 12:00 - Unexpected Tears in the Church: Went back to visit the church. And…I started to cry. No reason, really. Just a culmination of all the newness, the beauty, the loneliness… and I just stood in the church, and let the silent tears fall. I didn't even want to wipe them.
- 13:00 - Pizza Rescue (and a Realization): Ran, mortified, to the closest pizza place. Ordered a massive pizza, got myself into a box, cried no more. Realized that I needed to get out of my own head. This trip was about letting go and enjoying myself, and all that stuff.
- 15:00 - Exploring the countryside: Back to the car. Drove around, got lost, wound up in a field. Saw sheep. Felt better.
- 18:00 - Sunset Stroll and a Final Prosecco: Decided to enjoy the last sunset. The light spilled over the town, beautiful! Had a Prosecco.
- 20:00 - Dinner Back at La Locanda Del Capitano (because I’m predictable): Dario remembered me! Ordered the boar ragu. This time, I ate slowly, savoring every bite. Montone had, slowly, begun to work it's magic.
- 22:00 - Packing (or the Art of Ignoring Reality): Packed my suitcase. The apartment? It was a mess. But, somehow, I was sad to leave.
- 23:00 - Bedtime (and the Hope for the Best): I'M leaving tomorrow. And maybe… just maybe… I'll be back.
Day 4: Departure - The Final Farewell (and the Promise of Pizza)
- 09:00 - Coffee and Last Looks: Drank my coffee in the garden. The sun was
Escape to Italy: Romantic Montone Getaway – Belvilla Garden Apartment (Let's Get Real!)
Okay, spill the beans. Is Montone *actually* as romantic as the brochure pictures?
Alright, alright, let's get real. The pictures? Gorgeous. Stone walls, winding streets, sunsets that look like they were painted by God... Montone delivers. It's genuinely breathtaking. BUT… here’s the deal. Romance isn't just about scenery, is it? The initial "WOW" factor is definitely there. We were strolling hand-in-hand the first evening, practically drooling over the *gelato* we'd just snuck. We *felt* romantic. Then, we tried to find a specific trattoria we'd read about. Turns out, the streets wind more than a drunk spaghetti noodle. We got lost. Twice. The little "romantic" picnic basket I'd packed? Turned out to have more ants than prosciutto. Lesson learned: Bring bug spray, a better map (or just... google maps), and maybe lower your expectations just a *tad* on Day 1. Still, the *gelato* was awesome. And the stone walls? Seriously, they're dreamy.
Tell me about the Belvilla Garden Apartment. Was it… you know… *garden-y*?
The "Garden" part... yeah, well, it *had* a garden. More like a patio with a small, charming, but slightly unruly patch of greenery. Listen, I'm no gardener, so my standards are pretty low. It was perfectly fine! It had a table and chairs where we could eat breakfast, get rained on (more on that later!), and drink copious amounts of coffee. The apartment *itself* was decent. Clean-ish. Italian clean, which is a different standard than, say, German clean. (Just a thought, but the shower head *did* have a slight tendency to spray water directly into the opposite corner of the bathroom, and the water pressure could be described as "gentle persuasion".) But the terrace! The view from the terrace was incredible, overlooking the valley. That more than made up for any shower-related inconveniences. I could sit there all day, watching the sun set and feeling utterly content. (Except when I remembered the giant spider I saw there one afternoon. Traumatic.)
Food! Let's talk food. What was the eating situation like?
Okay, buckle up, because the Italian food situation is… well, it’s an experience. First thing, the *pasta*. Glorious, carb-laden, melt-in-your-mouth perfection. We ate so much pasta, I think my blood type might have changed to "pesto." Seriously, every restaurant in Montone seemed to have its own secret *ragu* recipe. We took a cooking class and learned how to make our own… which we *immediately* botched. The cooking teacher, bless her heart, just smiled and said, "Try again!" The *pizza* was fantastic, thin-crust heaven. I became a complete pizza snob, judging every pizza back home with a critical eye. The *gelato* deserves its own paragraph (see above). The only food-related mishap? I ordered a dish I *thought* was chicken but turned out to be… various bits of the chicken. Let's just say I didn't touch it. My husband, being less squeamish, happily devoured it. It was good, he said. I’ll never know. But honestly, even the "bad" food was still pretty good. It’s Italy, after all. Food is practically a religion there.
What was the *most* romantic thing you did? (Get specific!)
Okay, okay, I’m going to get a bit mushy here. One evening, we decided to hike down (and *up*, which was a mistake, let me tell you) to an old monastery that overlooked the valley. We packed a bottle of prosecco, some cheese and crackers, and (thankfully) bug spray. The walk was LONG. My legs were screaming. My lovely husband was relentlessly complaining about the heat (he's from colder climates). We argued. We nearly turned back. But we persevered. The view from the monastery was absolutely breathtaking. The sky was on fire with colour. We sat in silence, just looking at the view, sipping the prosecco, and nibbling cheese. Then, he pulled out a small travel journal he'd been keeping the whole trip and he read something he wrote. It was so cheesy (like the cheese we were eating!), but wonderfully heartfelt and genuine. I cried. Not just a little tear. I full-on, ugly-cried. It wasn’t the grandeur of the location, it was the *effort* and the vulnerability. That was the moment. That memory, more than the perfect sunset or the amazing meals, is what I cherish. It’s still gets me choked up thinking about it. (Yeah, now. Right now. Dang it!)
Any unexpected downsides? Besides the spider. And getting lost. And the shower.
Okay, the downsides… It rained. A *lot*. We’re talking biblical floods. One day, we were practically paddling down the street. This mostly meant we spent more time drinking wine inside, which… wasn’t *necessarily* a bad thing. The lack of reliable Internet was a minor inconvenience (you know, the whole "missing Instagram" thing). The language barrier. My Italian extends to "Pizza, per favore" and "Grazie." The locals were incredibly patient, but I felt like a complete idiot half the time. And, the price? It's not super cheap. It *is* worth it, but don't expect a bargain holiday. The biggest downer? The day we had to leave. Sigh. Getting back to reality after breathing the Italian air? Brutal.
Would you recommend it? Honestly.
Absolutely. Despite the rain, the bugs, the dodgy shower and my own, at-times, neurotic self. Yes, a million times yes. Montone is a gem. The Belvilla apartment was perfectly fine. The food was incredible. The people were lovely. Even with its imperfections, it was a truly special experience. It’s not the kind of trip where everything goes perfectly. It’s the kind of trip where you get a little lost, laugh a lot, eat way too much, and come home with memories that will last a lifetime. Go. Book it. Now. You won't regret it. (Just… remember the bug spray. Seriously.)
Let's get into the nitty-gritty! Did you actually *connect* with the locals?
Well, "connect" is a strong word. My Italian is... well, let's just say Google Translate was my best friend. But *encounter* the locals? Absolutely! The woman at the *gelateria*? She knew my order after the second day. "Due *con un goccia di cioccolato*?" she'd ask, and I'd just beam back, affirming. The staff at the restaurant we frequented (it had the best pasta, of course) got to know us. There was a lot of pointing, laughing, and attempts at communication. One evening, the waiter even brought us a dessert "on the house" – a rich chocolate concoctionEscape To Inns
