Assisi Escape: Stunning Hilltop Villa with Garden (Belvilla by OYO)
Assisi Escape: My Honest & Slightly Unhinged Review of that Hilltop Villa (Belvilla by OYO)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I’m about to spill the beans on Assisi Escape, that supposed slice of heaven perched atop a hill overlooking… well, Assisi. Let me tell you, getting there was an adventure in itself. (More on that later, because honestly, it feeds into the whole experience). Belvilla by OYO, you say? Hmmm. Let’s dive in, shall we? And yes, I’m totally using bullet points because my brain operates best that way, and frankly, you'll need all the help you can get to wade through this.
First Impressions & The Arrival:
- Accessibility (or lack thereof): Okay, so "hilltop villa" should've clued me in. This place isn't exactly wheelchair accessible. I mean, there's a lot of stairs. Forget about any sort of easy route: the driveway? Steep. The path to the entrance? Staircase city! I felt guilty for even thinking about it, which, as someone who occasionally feels guilty about breathing, speaks volumes. My friend, bless her, nearly lost a sandal on the cobblestones. So. Not. Wheelchair. Friendly.
- Curb Appeal: The villa itself is stunning. Seriously. Picture postcard perfect. That panoramic view? Chef's kiss. You feel like you're floating above the world. But… and there's always a but, isn't there?… the initial arrival could feel slightly underwhelming, like you're entering a castle that's just been renovated and… needs a bit more soul.
The Nitty Gritty: Rooms, Amenities & That Darned Wi-Fi
- The Room: Our room was… well-equipped. Air conditioning? Check! Blackout curtains? Crucial, because, sunrise. Free Wi-Fi? Supposedly. But get this: the "free Wi-Fi in all rooms!" was a lie. Or maybe just a particularly capricious fairy godmother. It was patchy, unreliable, and felt the need to disconnect at the most inconvenient times – like when I was finally about to upload my Instagram story about this gorgeous view. Grrrr. (I'm now realizing how dependent on internet services humans are, wow.)
- The Bathroom: The private bathroom was spacious enough, if you like the feeling of a private bathroom. The water pressure was fantastic. Which is a surprisingly important detail when all you want is to scrub the layers of travel grime off. Good selection of toiletries, too. No complaints there.
- Amenities… the Good Stuff:
- Pool with a View: Yes, yes, and YES! The outdoor swimming pool was divine. The water was sparkling, the sun was baking, and the view from the edge… unforgettable. I spent a shameful amount of time just floating and staring at the rolling hills. Pure bliss. I felt like a Roman emperor… only with less toga and more sunscreen.
- Spa/Sauna: Okay, the 'Spa' was… basic. The sauna was hot, which is the important thing. The 'spa' area didn't quite feel as luxe as the photos suggested, but after a long day of exploring Assisi, any form of heat and relaxation was welcome.
- Fitness Center: I… didn't. Let's be honest. The pool was my fitness center. However, glancing inside, I saw weights. Good on ya, fitness people.
- Other Room Features: Mini bar, coffee maker, alarm clock. All the essentials. And yes, there was a hairdryer. Always a win.
Food, Glorious Food… and the Quirks
- Dining Options – The Good, the Bad & the Unexpected:
- Breakfast [Buffet]: This was decent, not mind-blowing. A good starting point, though. I went for the pastries, coffee, and juice every morning.
- Restaurant: Here's where things get interesting. The "A la carte in Restaurant" was a delight. We had some incredible dishes. I'm a sucker for Italian food. One night, the pasta was so mind-blowingly delicious, that I just stared at my friend, mouth agape, for a full minute. It was THAT good.
- Poolside Bar: Perfect for a pre-dinner aperitivo! The cocktails were well-made, the snacks were plentiful, and the atmosphere was simply lovely.
- …and the oddities: Remember that “Individually-wrapped food options” from the listed amenities? I'm not sure I saw those anywhere. And the "Asian cuisine in restaurant?" Nope. Didn’t happen. They were really, REALLY pushing that "International cuisine."
- A Note on Service: The staff were friendly and helpful, but sometimes a little… slow. Ordering two coffees could involve a small wait. (Okay, that's an understatement).
Things to Do & Ways to Relax… or Not
- Assisi Itself: Obviously, the main attraction! The villa is an easy taxi ride away from Assisi. The walk down to the town is lovely… the walk back up? Not so much, especially after a day of exploring. Plan accordingly!
- Relaxation (Other Options):
- Massage: They had a massage available. I didn't partake. Regret? Maybe a little.
- The Terrace: The terrace offers the best view. I spent hours there.
- The Shrine: I didn't know this was an amenity! I probably would have wanted to go.
Cleanliness and Safety (The Pandemic Stuff)
- Overall: Assisi Escape seemed to take COVID precautions seriously. Hand sanitizer was EVERYWHERE. Daily disinfection was happening. The staff were wearing masks. The tables in the restaurant were well-spaced. I felt safe inside, which is a major plus during these times.
- The Sanitization: "Room sanitization opt-out available." Good, but I didn't opt out. "Sanitized kitchen and tableware items." Fantastic. "Staff trained in safety protocol." Excellent. However, I wonder if the staff were trained in how to get that darn internet to work!
Services and Conveniences (The Little Things)
- Essential Condiments? Hmmm. I'm not sure what "essential condiments" were available.
- Cashless Payment Service? Yes, thank goodness.
- Daily Housekeeping: The cleaning was good. Always a plus.
Getting Around (The Road Trip Part That Still Bites)
- The Drive: Okay, here's the real kicker. Getting to Assisi Escape is… an adventure. Winding roads, narrow lanes, and hairpin turns. My GPS kept wanting to send us down what clearly looked like a goat path. We almost lost the rented Fiat in a ditch. (Okay, I'm exaggerating… a little). But the point is, be prepared for a white-knuckle ride if you're driving. If you’re not, then the transfer is probably better than driving.
For the Kids (Bless their hearts!)
- Family/child friendly? Yes, I saw several families there. They seemed to be thriving!
- Other kid-centric stuff: I don't have kids. Couldn't say.
The Verdict: My Uncensored Final Thoughts
Look, Assisi Escape is a beautiful place. The view alone is worth the price of admission. The pool is divine. The food is mostly excellent. It's a place where you can actually relax. The service, the wonky internet, and the… challenging journey? Well, they add a certain… character to the experience. It's not perfect. Nothing ever is. But I'd go back in a heartbeat (and this time, I'm bringing a better internet connection). It has its flaws. Don’t expect perfection. But overall, it was a wonderful experience.
SEO & Metadata (Because, you know, I'm supposed to):
- Title: Assisi Escape Review: Charming Hilltop Villa (Belvilla by OYO) - Honest & Unfiltered
- Keywords: Assisi Escape, Belvilla by OYO, Assisi Italy, Hilltop Villa, Review, Italian Vacation, Swimming Pool, Spa, Restaurant, Italy Travel, Umbria, Accessibility, Wi-Fi Issues, Honest Review
- Meta Description: My brutally honest review of Assisi Escape: a stunning hilltop villa in Assisi. Discover the pros, cons, and quirky details of this Belvilla by OYO property, including the fabulous pool, the views, and the internet… or lack thereof.
- Image Alt Text: Assisi Escape Villa with stunning view - Assisi, Italy.
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this Belvilla trip to Assisi, Italy, is shaping up to be less “Pinterest-perfect” and more… well, me. Here’s the utterly chaotic, gloriously imperfect, and probably-will-involve-a-lot-of-wine itinerary I've scribbled down (and by "scribbled," I mean "mostly hoped for"):
Pre-Trip Panic & Preparation (AKA "Why Is My Passport Expired?!" Stage)
- Weeks Before: Book the Belvilla Hilltop Holiday home. Easy, right? HA! Turns out, finding a place with a garden in Assisi, that's affordable and doesn't look like a scene from a horror movie, is harder than finding a decent cappuccino in Seattle. Finally snagged it. Fingers crossed the photos weren’t heavily filtered. Also, pray to the travel gods my passport doesn't decide to be a jerk and expire mid-trip.
- Days Before: Packing. I'm a chronic over-packer. My suitcase looks less like luggage and more like a small, mobile storage unit. This time, I'm trying to be minimalist. Emphasis on TRYING. Will likely end up with 3 pairs of shoes, 5 scarves (because, Italy), enough books to fill a small library, and a half-eaten bag of gummy bears.
- Hours Before: Realization that I haven't actually learned any Italian beyond "Ciao" and "Un bicchiere di vino, per favore." Panic sets in. Download Duolingo. Immediately fail at basic phrases. Decide to wing it. Embrace the awkward charade that is my attempt at Italian.
Day 1: Arrival & The Garden of Dreams (Maybe)
- Early Flight/Train: This is where things could go sideways. Flights these days are more stressful than dating. Pray the airline doesn't lose my luggage (again). Imagine endless train delays. Try to actually enjoy the journey.
- Assisi Arrival: Alright, finally! Assuming I've arrived in one piece, it's time to navigate Assisi's charming, but possibly confusing, cobblestone streets. Finding the Belvilla? That'll be a challenge in itself. GPS…please don't fail me now.
- The Holy Grail: The Holiday Home! The moment of truth. Will the garden be a lush paradise, or a patch of weeds infested with angry snails? Crossing fingers (and toes). Let's hope it's postcard-worthy. If not, I'm going to drown my sorrows in Italian wine on the nearest patio.
- Afternoon: Unpack (eventually). A quick wander around the property to get my bearings. Immediately find the wine opener. Very important.
- Evening: First dinner! Find a little trattoria (hopefully) that isn’t a tourist trap. Order pasta. Practice my extremely limited Italian. Probably embarrass myself. But hey, it's all part of the experience! Expect to laugh, maybe cry about how beautiful everything is, and probably spill some red sauce on myself.
Day 2: Assisi's Soul & Possible Catastrophe
Morning: Explore Assisi! Basilica di San Francesco, of course. Ready to be awestruck. Also, ready to elbow my way through the crowds for a decent Instagram photo. (Yes, I'm ashamed.) Pray that the sheer history and beauty of the place can shut up the inner critic!
Midday: Lunch! Panino? Pizza? Gelato? The decision is agonizing! Possibly wander into a cafe solely based on the smell of freshly baked bread. And try to eat it with grace, which will be a struggle, I'm warning you.
THE BIG MISTAKE – DOWNTOWN WALK: Okay, I'm going to be honest. I'm not the best with directions. And Italian villages are particularly tricky. It's cobblestones and back alleys from dawn till dusk. I'm envisioning us walking straight into a trap. I'm probably picturing myself getting lost in an alley with my phone dead and a pack of stray dogs who want to eat my shoe.
Afternoon: The Catastrophe. This is where it really gets interesting. I'm a magnet for disaster. Maybe I'll accidentally lock myself out of the house, lose my wallet, or (most likely) butcher the Italian language in a spectacularly embarrassing way. Whatever it is, it'll make a good story… eventually.
Evening: Dinner to soothe the wounds. Hopefully, the restaurant will be forgiving of my terrible Italiano. More pasta. More wine. Maybe befriending a local to avoid future disasters.
Day 3: Wandering Wonders and Wine Tasting (YES!)
- Morning: Time for a hike or a quieter stroll. Find a place with a view. Breathe. Absorb the beauty – or complain about how steep the hills are a lot, depending on my mood (and the wine intake from the previous night).
- Midday: Market time! Wander through the local market (hopefully there's one!) and stock up on local produce. Try to haggle (badly) for something. Buy way too much food because everything looks delicious.
- Afternoon: THE WINE TASTING. Okay, this is what I'm most excited about. Find a winery. Taste all the wines! (Responsibly, of course… cough). Maybe even attempt to order something besides "Un bicchiere di vino, per favore." Expect to get tipsy and have a delightful time!
- Evening: More food. More wine. Perhaps try a cooking class (if I haven't eaten my way into a food coma). This entire trip is a symphony of food and drink.
Day 4: Goodbye, Assisi (But Not Really)
- Morning: Last-minute souvenir shopping (probably a tiny, ceramic donkey, or a fridge magnet, or something completely ridiculous). One last cappuccino. Say a mournful goodbye to the view from the Belvilla. Sigh…
- Midday: Pack (again, probably less efficiently this time). Clean the house (or attempt to). Panic slightly at the thought of leaving. Realize I could SO live in Italy.
- Afternoon/Evening: Departure! Travel back to reality. Reflect on the trip. Already planning my return. Start searching for airfare home.
Important Side Notes:
- The Food: Prepared to eat EVERYTHING. And immediately gain 5 pounds. Totally worth it.
- The People: Planning to embrace the Italian warmth and friendliness (even if my Italian is awful). Hope to learn a little about the culture.
- The Emotional Baggage: Bringing it all! Good times, bad times, doubt, the occasional existential crisis… the whole shebang. Travel is a journey, not just a vacation.
- Imperfections Welcome: This is not going to be a picture-perfect trip. And that's the point! Embrace the mistakes, the misadventures, and the moments of sheer, unadulterated messiness. It's all part of the fun.
There you have it. My Assisi adventure. Wish me luck. And send wine. I'll need it.
Escape to Paradise: Stunning Colombiers Holiday Home (500m from Center!)
Assisi Escape: Your Pre-Trip Brain Dump (and Hopefully, a Few Answers!)
Okay, seriously, is this place REALLY as amazing as the photos suggest? Because, you know, filter-land and all that...
Alright, let's get real. Those photos? Yeah, they're good. But the real deal? Better. MUCH better. I mean, look, I've been burned by those perfectly-lit, suspiciously angle-shot villas before. You get there and it's like... a glorified shed. But Assisi Escape? Walking in, my jaw actually dropped. Seriously. That view? It's like someone painted a Bob Ross masterpiece just for you. The photos don't quite capture the FEEL. The sun warming your face, the scent of rosemary and something vaguely Italian (red wine, maybe?) wafting through the air... It's an experience. The photos are a good starting point, but be prepared to have your expectations *exceeded*. Don't expect perfection, though. We're talking rustic Italian charm, right? A little bit of "lived-in" adds character. And maybe, just maybe, a certain charm.
How far is it REALLY from Assisi town? I'm not exactly a marathon runner. And what about parking?
Okay, so "close to Assisi" is relative, right? Google Maps says, what, five minutes? Yeah, that's if you're channeling your inner Schumacher and can manage those narrow, winding Italian roads. It's a bit further. Honestly, it's perfectly fine (maybe 15 minutes tops if you don't drive like a maniac – unlike *some* people I know...). The parking… well, the parking’s an adventure. The place itself has parking but let's be honest, it's not exactly spacious. We found ourselves occasionally parking further down the road. Nothing the Italian countryside doesn't offer. The walk is good for you. The views even better. So, take a deep breath, embrace the "getting there" aspect. It's part of the charm. Just don't expect to be wheeling your suitcase into the front door. It’s a bit of an uphill trek, depending on where you park. Pack light! And maybe bring a good sense of humor. Because you *will* be laughing about it later.
The garden! I keep seeing pictures. Is it actually usable? And what's with the "escape" part? Is it like, a secret hideaway from the zombie apocalypse?
The garden. Oh, the garden. It's not just "usable," it's the bloody *heart* of the place! We spent hours out there. Seriously, it's where all the good stuff happened. Breakfast with that view? Check. Sunset Prosecco with the wife? Check. Accidentally falling asleep in a hammock while trying to "relax"? Double check. The "escape" part? Well, it's not a bunker. It's more like... a mental escape. A place to switch off. To breathe. To actually *hear* yourself think (which is a rare luxury, these days). It felt completely private. Like we were the only people on Earth (okay, maybe not, but it certainly felt that way!). The only downside? The mosquitos. Bring repellent. Seriously. If you forget, you'll be regretting it for DAYS. And, be prepared for the local wildlife. There’s always a curious cat lurking about. And the occasional lizard sunbathing near the pool. Which… is a little disconcerting when you’re used to more urban fauna. Embrace it, though. It's part of the experience.
What's the kitchen situation like? I'm planning on cooking, not just eating pasta every night (though... maybe one night, just to be authentic).
The kitchen. Ah, the kitchen. It's… functional. Let’s just say it's not a Michelin-star setup, okay? It has the basics. Pots, pans, a fridge that actually keeps things cold (a massive win!). It's perfectly adequate for whipping up simple meals. Don't go expecting a state-of-the-art chef kitchen, though. We cooked a few meals there during our stay, including a disastrous attempt at making pizza. Let’s call it ‘rustic’. We're probably not going to win any awards for that. But we had fun doing it! The local supermarket has some amazing ingredients, though. So, stock up on fresh produce, local cheese, and, obviously, wine. The most important tool, by far, is the corkscrew ;)
Is there Wi-Fi? Because, you know, gotta Instagram that view...
Yes, there is Wi-Fi. Thank god. Although, the connection isn't always super-speedy. It's good enough for sending emails and sharing pictures. It's a bit patchy in some areas of the villa, so don't expect to stream the latest Netflix hit without a buffering moment or two. Embrace the downtime, folks! This is one of the few places where you can actually get away from it all. You'll have enough time to upload those Insta stories eventually. The important thing is the experience. That’s what counts
Any tips for making the most of the stay? And, let's be honest, any potential downsides I should be aware of?
Tips? Okay, here's the lowdown. First, *embrace the imperfections*. It's part of the charm. Second, bring bug spray! Seriously, the mosquitos are relentless. Third, buy local. The markets in Assisi are amazing. The food is incredible. Fourth, don't be afraid to get lost. Wander the streets. Discover hidden gems. And fifth... *relax*. This place is about unwinding. About slowing down. About soaking up the Italian sun. And, the downsides? Honestly, not many. The parking situation. The slightly temperamental Wi-Fi. But the pros easily outweigh the cons. Oh, one thing. Be prepared to not want to leave. Seriously. We almost missed our flight. It's that kind of place. And, just a final little piece of advice: Try to arrange the arrival when the sun is setting. Pure magic.
The Pool!! It looks delightful. Is it? Realistically, is it actually clean? What are the opening hours?
Right. The pool. The jewel in the crown, right? It's... yeah, it's as delightful as it looks. The water is clean. Crystal clear, even. (They obviously didn't get the memo about the "rustic" theme for the pool! Ha!) The opening hours? Well, it's a private pool, so, essentially, whenever you want! We were in there at dawn a couple of times (unforgettable!). And late into the evening with a bottle of wine watching the moon rise over the Umbrian hills. Just be mindful of noise levels, y'know, be a good guest. The pool is lovely. TheCozy Stay Spots
