Escape to Paradise: Your Private Pool Awaits in Elend, Germany!
Escape to Paradise: Elend… Really? (A Mostly Honest Review)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to dive into the swirling vortex of "Escape to Paradise: Your Private Pool Awaits" in Elend, Germany. Let me tell you, paradise it ain't ALWAYS – but it definitely had its moments. This is going to be less a pristine travel brochure and more a rambling, slightly chaotic account of my experience. Consider this your "warts and all" warning… and maybe grab a coffee. Because you'll need it.
Metadata & SEO Buzzwords (because the internet gods demand it!): Elend, Germany, Escape to Paradise, Private Pool, Hotel Review, Accessibility, Spa, Wellness, Germany Travel, Family-Friendly, Wheelchair Accessible, Sauna, Swimming Pool, Restaurant, Free Wi-Fi, Covid Safety, Cleanliness, Reviews, Vacation, Holiday, Harz Mountains, Relaxation, German Hospitality
First Impressions & Arrival – The "Are We There Yet?" Phase
Getting to Elend… well, let's just say my sat-nav had a sense of humor. The drive itself was stunning, through the Harz Mountains, all rolling hills and fairytale forests. Beautiful. But the actual arrival? Finding this hidden gem was a minor adventure. Signage could be better, let's just say. I ended up doing a three-point turn that would've impressed a truck driver, just to get back on the right track. (My inner navigation system was screaming, I assure you).
Finally, I spotted it… The Hotel. The exterior felt… adequate. Not quite the palatial entrance I’d pictured, but hey, who needs a castle façade when you’ve got a private pool?
The check-in was… efficient. Let’s go with efficient. Contactless, of course. And while I appreciated the gesture, I kinda missed the old-school, friendly chat. The receptionist was polite, but I got the feeling she’d done this a thousand times before and just wanted her shift to end. (I felt that. Deeply.)
Accessibility – Navigating the Maze (and My Expectations)
Right, so let's talk accessibility. This is important. The website claimed to be wheelchair accessible, and they mostly delivered.
- Wheelchair accessible: The main areas, like the reception and some of the restaurants, had ramps and elevators. However, maneuvering around, especially in some of the spa areas, got a little… tricky. A few tight corners here and there, and I wouldn't say it was perfectly navigable. I found myself wondering if this meant ‘American Accessible’ or even ‘European accessible’ because some of the turns were too tight for a larger chair. Still, they made an effort, and that’s something.
- Elevator: Yes, there was an elevator. Thank goodness.
- Facilities for disabled guests: They do have some rooms specifically designed for accessibility, which is a huge plus.
- Overall: It's not a fully seamless experience for wheelchair users, but they've definitely made an effort and it’s better than nothing.
The Room – My Private Oasis (with a Few Quirks)
And now, the moment of truth: the room. I’d booked a "deluxe" room, dreaming of a palatial space. Turns out, "deluxe" meant… well, slightly larger than a shoebox. Don't get me wrong, it was perfectly adequate, clean, and well-maintained. But deluxe? Let's just say I've seen more spacious prison cells.
- Available in all rooms:
- Additional Toilet: No.
- Air Conditioning: YES! (THANK THE LORD! It was baking outside!)
- Alarm Clock: Yes. (And it went off at 6 AM on the dot, even though I didn't set it. Rude.)
- Bathrobes: Yes. (Soft and fluffy, which is always a win.)
- Bathroom Phone: Nope, but my phone was enough
- Bathtub: Yes! (And not a tiny one, either. Big enough to drown my sorrows – metaphorically speaking, of course. 😉)
- Blackout Curtains: YUP! (Essential for a good sleep.)
- Carpeting: Fine…not my favourite
- Closet: Decently sized.
- Coffee/Tea Maker: YES! With free tea bags!
- Complimentary Tea: Yes.
- Daily Housekeeping: Yes. (And they were impressively thorough.)
- Desk: Yes, small but functional.
- Extra Long Bed: Yes, thank goodness. I'm tall and these are the best.
- Free Bottled Water: Yep, refilled daily.
- Hair Dryer: Yes. (My hair thanks you.)
- High Floor: Uh… was it?
- In-Room Safe Box: Yes.
- Interconnecting Room(s) Available: I don't know.
- Internet Access – LAN: I did not use this.
- Internet Access – Wireless: YES! Free Wi-Fi, which was mostly reliable.
- Ironing Facilities: Yes. (For the one outfit I bothered bringing.)
- Laptop Workspace: The desk was… workable.
- Linens: Clean and fresh.
- Mini Bar: Yes. And the prices… let's just say I decided to embrace the "free bottled water."
- Mirror: Yes, various sizes.
- Non-Smoking: Absolutely.
- On-Demand Movies: Meh. I didn't use it.
- Private Bathroom: Yes, of course.
- Reading Light: Yes. (Perfect for late-night bookworms like me.)
- Refrigerator: Yes, part of the mini-bar.
- Safety/Security Feature: A safe, plus the usual stuff.
- Satellite/Cable Channels: YES! (Excellent for escaping reality.)
- Scale: YES. (Sigh.)
- Seating Area: A small sofa; a bit squeezed in but comfortable.
- Separate Shower/Bathtub: Yes.
- Shower: Good water pressure.
- Slippers: Yes. (Bonus points!)
- Smoke Detector: Yes.
- Socket Near the Bed: Yes.
- Sofa: Yes, see above.
- Soundproofing: Pretty good, except for the muffled chatter from the hallway.
- Telephone: Yes. (But I preferred texting.)
- Toiletries: Basic, but adequate.
- Towels: Plentiful and fluffy.
- Umbrella: No.
- Visual Alarm: No.
- Wake-Up Service: Yup, the alarm clock. (See above.)
- Wi-Fi [free]: Yes! (Mostly reliable – praise be!)
- Window That Opens: YES! (Needed the fresh air.)
The Pool – The Star Attraction (and the Slight Disappointment)
Okay, so this is the bit you’re waiting for: the private pool. It was… lovely. The water was the perfect temperature, the jets were powerful, and the view… well, it overlooked a rather charming patch of forest.
But here’s the thing. It wasn't entirely private, if you know what I mean. There was a small window in the door that, if you stood at a certain angle, you could see into the jacuzzi. And the room next door was able to see into the pool. That little privacy detail was missing . Still. Lovely. But not quite the secluded oasis I'd imagined. I also had to call for towels and they took a long time. Seriously. Like, I was already half-dry.
Spa & Wellness – Ah, Bliss (and the Odd Hiccup)
I'm a spa junkie, so I had high hopes.
- Body scrub & Body wrap: Sadly, did not indulge.
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: I didn’t see it, but I’m not a gym person, so… not missed.
- Foot bath: No.
- Massage: I got one! The therapist was amazing. She could sense all my knots and stress. Pure bliss.
- Pool with a view I had a view, but not of the pool.
- Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom: All available. I'm not sure how many types there were there.
- Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]: Yes, and outdoor. The only one I saw was the indoor "private" pool. But lovely.
The spa itself was beautiful: low lighting, soothing music, the whole shebang. My massage was heavenly. However, the sauna seemed to have a slight issue with temperature control. One minute it was a toasty haven, the next it felt
Escape to Paradise: Stunning French Dune Holiday Home with Private Pool
Alright, buckle up, buttercups! This isn't your sanitized, perfectly-planned travel itinerary. This is… my attempt at tackling a holiday home in Elend, Oberharz am Brocken, Germany. Let's see how this glorious chaos unfolds.
Destination: Holiday Home in Elend, Oberharz am Brocken, Germany (God, I hope the pool is actually private.) Dates: [Date -Date] Theme: Escape the Madness (and hopefully, not become the madness)
Day 1: Arrival and the Great Fridge Fiasco
- Morning: The Trek Begins! Okay, so the drive from [Your Location] was supposed to be scenic. It was also a complete zoo. Construction, screaming kids (mine!), and a GPS that seemed to actively hate me conspired to add an extra hour. I arrived at the house feeling like I'd wrestled a bear and lost.
- Afternoon: The Key, the Door, and the… Pool? Finally! The house. Looks promising, even in the slightly drizzly weather. Found the key (success!), unlocked the door (double success!), and the place does smell faintly of fresh pine and…cleaning supplies. Excellent. Oh, and the pool. Oh, sweet baby Jesus, the pool! It's small, sure, but it’s private! (Fingers crossed no Nosy Neighbors can look at us).
- Evening: The Fridge of Despair. This is where things took a turn. Unpacking. Putting the groceries away. And the fridge. Dear god, the fridge. It's smaller than my suitcase. And it seems to be set to "slightly chilly". My carefully curated German sausages are looking… glum. The worst of it is the beer, which I need now! Had to make a beer run, and I'm slightly tipsier than I anticipated.
Day 2: The Brocken and the Existential Hike
- Morning: Fueling Up for the Ascent. After a night of fitful sleep punctuated by thoughts about the fridge's temperature (seriously, I'm obsessed), I drag myself out of bed . A proper German breakfast. (or what passes for one, given the fridge situation)
- Mid-Morning: Up, Up, and Away (Maybe). Okay, the Brocken. The big, supposed-to-be-magical, highest peak in the Harz Mountains. We're taking the steam train! This is supposed to be an iconic experience. We get to the station, packed with sweaty tourists (including an aggressively large group of German pensioners, I’m pretty sure one of them gave me 'the look' I need to be on the train).
- Afternoon: The Brocken: Hype vs. Reality. Reached the top in a cloud of steam and disappointment. Apparently, it's a mountain. And up here, it's windier than a politician's promises. Visibility: zero. We trudged around in the fog, occasionally bumping into other bewildered hikers. I could barely see ten feet in front of me! I did see the Brockenhaus, which is a building, not a house, but it’s a brockenhaus. I went inside, which was just a shop. Found a Brocken Witches Souvenir and a Brocken Tea, which seems appropriate in this situation. Finally, the train back down was a welcome relief.
- Evening: Brocken Reflections and Schnitzel. Back at the house, I’m emotionally shattered but starving. Did I actually see the Brocken? Existential crises while eating a massive schnitzel is a thing now.
Day 3: The Harz Witches and the Search for Charm
- Morning: Wakey-Wakey Witches! We're hitting the witch-themed trail. This is supposed to be all about the spooky folklore of the region. I’m secretly hoping for a real witch, even if it's for a bit of entertainment.
- Mid-Morning: Hohnestein Castle and the Harz-Walk. Okay, the castle is pretty cool! Ancient, crumbling, atmospheric. Walking the Harz Walk is a thing. Is it tiring? Yes. Is it worth it? Maybe. Depends if you like mossy stones and a lot of trees.
- Afternoon: The Search for that elusive charm. We explored the town of [town name near the house], hoping for a charming local experience. This involved a very long wait for a table at a traditional restaurant. The food was fine, but the lack of charm was almost palpable. Did anyone see the charm? No.
- Evening: More Pool (Finally!) and the Great Cheese Conspiracy. The sun finally came out! The private pool lived up to its promise. I think I spent more time staring at the pool than in it. This is the life! Until the cheese. I had this amazing local cheese. It disappeared. Gone! I’m blaming the fridge. Or maybe the witch, but the fridge feels closer.
Day 4: Attempting Culture and the Quest for Relaxation
- Morning: The Mines of Silver. We're going deep (pun intended!) into the past. The mines of the region are packed with history and stuff which is interesting, I suppose.
- Mid-Morning: The Cave of Ghosts. Who doesn’t like ghosts? Another cave. This one is a bit different. I get the feeling that my imagination is not cooperating with the scenery.
- Afternoon: The Quest for Relaxation. This is where the wheels really fell off my ambitions. I thought I could have a relaxing spa day. Apparently, every spa in a 50-mile radius was booked solid. So, back to the house, pool, the sun, some beers, and a bit of solitude.
- Evening: Grilling Mishaps and Stargazing (Maybe). I thought I'd be a culinary genius and attempt to grill. The grill was a rusty, temperamental beast, and my sausages ended up looking like charcoal briquettes. So, more beer! Went to look at the stars - which, with the lack of light pollution are supposed to be brilliant but the wind had picked up and the clouds were rolling in. So, maybe not stargazing.
Day 5: Farewell (Thank God) and the Fridge Finale
- Morning: Last Dip, Final Inspection. A last, quick swim in the pool. A final sweep of the house, checking for anything I might have left behind. Also, a final, desperate attempt to figure out why that fridge hated me so much.
- Mid-Morning: The Packing Blues. The dreaded packing.
- Afternoon: The Great Escape and the Fridge's Legacy. The drive home. A long, slightly traumatic drive home. I can't help but wonder where the cheese went. The fridge clearly had something to do with it. I’m going to write to complain about the fridge. Or maybe I’ll just buy a new one.
Overall Impressions:
- Highlights: The private pool, the steam train (when I could see!), the schnitzel.
- Lowlights: The fridge, the Brocken's weather, the scarcity of charm.
- Would I recommend it? Depends on your tolerance for chaos, small fridges, and questionable weather. I would have loved the journey more though.
Final Thoughts: This trip wasn't perfect. It was messy, imperfect, and at times, a little bit frustrating. But it was real. It was a holiday. And for all its imperfections, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. (Except maybe a bigger, better fridge.)
Unbelievable Belvilla Deal: La Grotta Escape in Italy!
Escape to Paradise: Your Private Pool Awaits - Elend, Germany (FAQ - Because Let's Be Real, You're Thinking About Jumping In Already!)
Okay, spill the beans. Is this place *actually* as dreamy as the pictures?
Alright, buckle up buttercup. The photos? They’re… well, they're professionally taken. But here's the thing, I'm terrible at lying. So, no. It’s not *exactly* like the photos. It’s WAY better. Seriously. I arrived, expecting a slightly-above-average-but-still-a-vacation kinda thing. Instead? My jaw LITERALLY dropped. The pool shimmers, the house is cozy-chic without being pretentious, and the silence? Glorious. Like, silent enough to hear the tiny, judgmental squirrels plotting world domination from the treetops. (I *think* that's what they were up to…)
My first thought? "This is a scam. There's NO WAY this is real." My second thought? "Oh GOD, I hope I don't mess this up." (spoiler: I did. More on that later.) So, yeah. Dreamy. Understatedly, wonderfully so.
The Pool! Tell me about the pool! (Is it as warm as it looks?)
Okay, the pool. Deep breath. It's… life-altering. Seriously. I'm not a pool person, I'm a "beach or bust" kinda gal. But this pool? It's a game-changer. Is it warm? YES. Blissfully, perfectly, "melt-your-stress-away-and-forget-about-that-email-from-your-boss" warm. (I swear, I think my shoulders physically slumped the moment I stepped in.) They even leave pool floats. Cheap ones, sure, but still, pool floats!
One tiny thing - and this is me being nitpicky – the *slippery* steps. My feet were a bit uncertain. But hey. I survived. And the feeling you get, just floating under the sun, looking up at the trees? Worth the potential wipeout. Also, there was this *one time* I got too confident and tried a swan dive. (Don't judge. Champagne was involved). Let's just say I'm lucky I can still type this. The pool is a win. Just… watch your feet.
What's the deal with Elend? Is it a town or a black hole?
Elend! Okay, picture this: quaint. Then subtract the overwhelming tourist crowds. Then add… well, I'd define it as quiet, but in a good way. It’s not a bustling metropolis, that's for sure. Think winding roads, charming houses, forest scenery, and the kind of air that makes you want to take a deep breath and sigh contentedly. There's a bakery with the best pastries ever (seriously, I went every day). It is a short walk to some hiking trails. If your idea of paradise involves peace, nature, and a healthy dose of “getting away from it all” then you're golden. If you need constant stimulation and a Starbucks on every corner, maybe check out the next town over.
I'm worried about bugs. Are they going to eat me alive?
Okay, fair question. Because I am, too. The woods are close and I went in thinking I might be devoured. Look, let’s be honest, you’re in the countryside. There will be bugs. But... it wasn’t *awful*. I'm a mosquito magnet, and I survived. The house has screens on the windows, which is a HUGE win. I brought bug spray. I used it. Be proactive. But the infestation wasn't a dealbreaker.
Anecdote time: I swear I spotted a particularly ambitious spider attempting to build a nest *inside* the chimney. I think it was planning a takeover… just kidding. (Mostly.) But yeah, the bugs are… there. But manageable. Just come prepared. And keep the windows shut at night.
Speaking of things that might bite, how's the food situation? Can I get pizza delivered?
Okay, pizza delivery? Probably not. Embrace the local cuisine! The upside: Elend has some delightful local restaurants. The upside: you have a kitchen at your disposal. Go to local markets, get the freshest ingredients and have a go at cooking yourself. The downside: I burnt the sausages. Twice.
There is a great bakery close by. They will sell you breads. Do this. There is also a grocery store close by. (I recommend going there. It has everything. Including, on my visit, a very judgmental cashier who seemed to disapprove of my purchase of three kinds of cheese. Cheese is a necessity, woman!) So plan ahead! And if you’re like me and lack basic cooking skills, pack some ready-made meals… or embrace the local pubs. (Burgers and beer? Yes, please.)
Is there Wi-Fi? Because, you know, I *need* to post pictures of my perfect vacation.
Yes, there is Wi-Fi. And it's… functional. It's not the fastest internet in the world. But it's there. Streaming? Probably fine. Uploading a gazillion photos to Instagram? Be patient. Because let's be honest, you are going to want to post pictures. It's mandatory. And the pool? Oh, you're going to need to show off *that*. And the views. And the… you get the idea. But you're not going to be able to download a movie in seconds. It's a vacation, remember? Unplug a little.
My personal opinion? It's perfect. It forces you to enjoy the present moment without drowning in your phone. My husband would disagree, as he works remotely. (We might have had *words* about the download speed.) But I still wouldn't trade it.
Any tips for making the most of the "Escape to Paradise" experience?
Oh, yeah. Listen up. First: Book it. Seriously. Right now. Before someone cooler than you snags your dates. Second: Pack your comfiest swimwear and a good book. (And maybe some earplugs, if you're a light sleeper. The birds get *very* enthusiastic at dawn.) Third: Don’t overpack! You won't need a thing. Fourth: Find Hotel Now
