Escape to Paradise: Luxurious Malmedy Sauna Holiday Home!
Escape to Paradise: A Malmedy Sauna Holiday Home - My Honest Truth (and a LOT of Sauna) - SEO Optimized!
Let's be honest, folks. "Luxurious Malmedy Sauna Holiday Home" sounds fancy. And, well, it is. But is it real luxurious? That’s the question I went chasing on my little escape. Buckle up, because this is gonna be more than just a brochure review. This is my experience.
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The Arrival & The "Wow" (and the Slight "Uh Oh")
First impressions, right? The drive to Escape to Paradise was gorgeous – winding roads through the Ardennes, a hint of fresh pine in the air. The place looked promising. Lush greenery, a sleek, modern design. The exterior screamed "Instagrammable!" (which, let's be real, is a good start).
Accessibility & My Slightly Clumsy Dance with Luxury:
Now, I'm not in a wheelchair, but I appreciate good accessibility – and this place seemed to get it. Elevator access (vital!), and the facilities for disabled guests were a definite plus. I checked out the wheelchair accessible options, and they looked good. (I can imagine getting around easily) Good job, Escape to Paradise, you were already winning. But then, the first tiny hiccup. The check-in process - which was labelled as contactless check-in/out - still needed a bit of in-person explaining. Not a huge deal, but slightly less seamless than I expected. (Perhaps because the staff were keen to check in on us, since you could never be too careful!)
Rooms - Mine Was Amazing! (But Maybe I Got Lucky?)
Okay, my room. Oh. My. God. I can't even. Air conditioning, blackout curtains (essential for sleep!), a HUGE extra long bed (perfect for sprawling after a sauna session), and the private bathroom… It was pure indulgence. I'm talking bathrobes, slippers, and enough fluffy towels to build a small fort. The complimentary tea and coffee situation was on point, and I loved the little things like the in-room safe box and the mini bar. I could totally see myself living in that space, even if it was just for a few days! I was absolutely in love - and not just because of all the luxurious features - but because the room felt safe and intimate. I was able to take a breather and feel completely safe.
The Wifi and The World Connecting (Almost):
Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! YES! (and it was Internet access – wireless). A must for someone who needs to, you know, work while pretending to relax. The internet on my room was fast enough, I could take zoom meetings without problems! It gave me a perfect balance of personal and work time.
The Sauna, The Spa, The Soul Soothed:
This is where Escape to Paradise really shines. We're talking a serious Spa/sauna situation. I spent a frankly embarrassing amount of time in the sauna. It was pure bliss. The steamroom was also a highlight, and the pool with view? Forget about it - a perfect post-sauna chill. The massage I got was phenomenal. Seriously, the therapist worked out knots I didn't even know I had. It was the kind of massage that has you drifting off to sleep and then waking up and realizing you’re still in heaven. My body scrub and wrap experience were also divine. I still felt my skin soft and smooth weeks after that.
Fitness Center - I Swore I Would, I Didn't. (But It Was There!)
Okay, full disclosure. I intended to hit the Fitness center. I really did. But between the sauna, the pool, and the allure of the massage, my workout gear stayed neatly packed. It looked like a good gym, though. Modern equipment, and the availability of a gym/fitness setup was a good sign.
Dining, Drinking & Snacking - The Food, Oh The Food!!:
Now, I'll be honest, my expectations were high. And, mostly, they were met. The Breakfast [buffet] was impressive, with everything from Asian breakfast options to the classic Western breakfast. The Coffee/tea in restaurant were quite tasty. I grabbed a bottle of water and a dessert from time to time (couldn't resist those desserts in restaurant!). There were restaurants with different kinds of food (the vegetarian restaurant was great), a poolside bar, and even Room service [24-hour]. They had Happy hour too! However, sometimes the service was a little slow. (I'm talking 15 minutes waiting for a coffee). But honestly, I was so relaxed, I didn't mind so much.
Cleanliness and Safety - Did It Feel Safe?
During my stay, there were rigorous hygiene protocols at play. The place was sparkling – they had Anti-viral cleaning products and were doing Daily disinfection in common areas. All the staff were incredibly well trained. They even had Hand sanitizer everywhere. They had Staff trained in safety protocol. I guess I just wanted to feel safe, and they were up to the challenge. I was aware of the new reality and was extremely careful - and the Holiday Home made me feel so comfortable.
Things to Do (Besides Saunas):
Escape to Paradise offers a lot more than just spa treatments. There are Things to do, ways to relax, such as Body wrap, a Foot bath, and a Swimming pool [outdoor], to name a few! I didn't have time to explore EVERYTHING, but there were also Meeting/banquet facilities, and opportunities to get together in Seminars (I saw some people holding one). And there's a gift/souvenir shop - perfect for grabbing something to remember your trip. Another thing that I greatly appreciated was the availability of a Car park [free of charge].
The Little Things (That Still Matter):
- Concierge: Always helpful.
- Luggage storage: Convenient.
- Elevator: Essential.
- Non-smoking rooms: Thank goodness.
- Pets allowed unavailable.
- Cash withdrawal: Helpful.
- Daily housekeeping. I was glad I had it!
- Facilities for disabled guests. I appreciate accessibility.
Areas for Improvement (Because Perfection Doesn't Exist):
- Service Speed: The staff was super friendly, but sometimes things took a while.
- Restaurant Noise: The restaurant, while delicious, could sometimes be a bit loud.
- One Small Thing: The room sanitization opt-out offered a good sense of trust - I opted in every day!
The Verdict - Should You Escape to Paradise?
Absolutely. Despite these minor niggles, Escape to Paradise is an exceptional place. It's perfect for a romantic getaway, a self-care retreat, or just a chance to disconnect and recharge. The sauna experience alone is worth the price of admission. I left feeling relaxed, rejuvenated, and already planning my return. It lived up to its name. I'm happy to recommend this place, it was definitely one of the best experiences I've ever had.
Final Grade: 9.5/10 - Pure Bliss (with a side of slightly slow coffee)
Ouddorp Beachfront Paradise: Your Dream Single-Story Getaway Awaits!
Okay, buckle up, buttercup! This isn't your glossy travel brochure itinerary. This is the REAL DEAL. Prepare for a messy, opinionated, occasionally glorious, and probably slightly embarrassing jaunt through the Ardennes. We're going to Malmedy, baby, and we're going to sauna, and then we're going to… well, we'll see what happens.
Trip Title: Malmedy Mayhem & Sauna Shenanigans (Because, honestly, that's probably what it'll be)
Location: Alluring Holiday Home in Malmedy, Belgium (Praying it's actually alluring. Sometimes "alluring" is code for "slightly damp and smelling faintly of mildew.")
Duration: 4 Days/3 Nights (Lord, have mercy on my liver.)
Companions: (Let's call them) Brenda (the organizer, bless her heart), Dave (the grumpy one, but secretly loves a good time), and Sarah (the perpetually late one, who will inevitably lose something vital).
Day 1: Arrival & Ardennes Angst
- 10:00 AM: Arrive at Brussels Airport. The flight went fine. I managed to not spill coffee on myself or the person next to me. Victory! Brenda, ever the optimist, has booked a rental car. Brace yourselves. I've driven with her before. It's… an experience. (Mostly involves her yelling "Watch out for the cyclists!")
- 11:00 AM - 1:00 PM: The epic car journey to Malmedy. I'm pretty sure the GPS is messing with us already. We seem to be doing laps. Are we even in Belgium anymore? Oh look, a cow. Lovely, I guess? The landscape transitions from airport-city to rolling hills with a charming but slightly scary forest. Dave is already complaining about the lack of legroom. I am attempting to distract them with stories.
- 1:00 PM: FINALLY arrive at the holiday home. "Alluring" is… well, it's definitely a house. It has a roof. And a door. The garden looks promising, with a little BBQ, and a view! Breathe out. The interior is decent, and the sauna is there! (I can already feel the stress melting away.)
- 2:00 PM: Unpack and argue about who gets which bedroom. Sarah is, predictably, nowhere to be found. Dave is grunting about the lack of tea bags. Brenda is already meticulously checking the fire alarm.
- 3:00 PM: Snack attack! We find some local cheese at a tiny roadside shop, and buy some beer. I have a little panic about feeling hungover before the holiday even starts, but I press on. We also get our bearings.
- 4:30 PM: A long walk. The forest. It's beautiful, and I feel like I'm in a medieval fairytale. The air smells like damp earth and pine needles. Dave, grumbling all the way. Sarah finally appears with a story of a lost phone charger.
- 7:00 PM: Food. A simple dinner of pasta and salad. It's terrible, but it's a meal. I have an extra beer because of the journey and the stress.
- 8:30 PM: The first sauna session! (I can hear you all saying "You can't wait to get on the sauna" hahaha). This is it. This is what we came for. The heat is fantastic. The silence is even better. Dave falls asleep and snores. I imagine I'm a Viking in the sauna. Sarah tries to take her phone in, which I quickly stop. Brenda gives us a detailed lecture about proper sauna etiquette.
- 10:00 PM: Bed. I am already so worn out.
Day 2: Waterfalls & Waffles (and a near-disaster involving a map)
- 9:00 AM: Rise and shine! After a bad night sleep, I can hear Brenda making breakfast in the kitchen. I can smell coffee, waffles and bacon. Yes yes yes yes.
- 10:00 AM: Trip to the Cascade de Coo waterfall. Driving there, we encounter a tiny road and almost crash the car. A heated debate about whose fault it was. But it's beautiful. Waterfalls are always impressive. I get a weird urge to jump in. Dave gives me a look. We buy some touristy souvenirs, including a very dubious-looking Belgian chocolate.
- 12:00 PM: Waffles! We discover the best waffle shop in the entire region. The batter is soft, but warm, and my mouth is in pure, unadulterated ecstasy. Maybe the best waffle I've ever had. I'm pretty sure I ate three. (No regrets.) This is what life is all about.
- 2:00 PM: Trying to find a small village. But we get terribly lost. Brenda insists on using a paper map, which Dave declares "a relic of the dark ages." Sarah suggests simply "Following our noses." In the end, we ask a local farmer, who gives us directions in rapid-fire French. We understand nothing.
- 3:30 PM: Back at the holiday home. Stressed. I grab a beer.
- 5:00 PM: Sauna round two! I try to meditate, but the image of a lost map keeps flashing through my head. Still, the heat is calming. I feel a bit better.
- 7:00 PM: Another meal. Simple. Dave cooks.
- 8:00 PM: More beers. We play cards. Sarah confesses she "may" have accidentally spent all her money on a tiny ceramic gnome. Dave starts arguing with Brenda about something political. I make a very bad decision and drink more beer.
- 11:00 PM: Bed.
Day 3: Malmedy, Memories & Maybe More Beer (and a bit of tears, probably)
- 10:00 AM: Sleep in! I'm exhausted. The previous day was pretty taxing, and the beer didn't really help.
- 11:00 AM: Explore Malmedy town. A little market, a pretty church, some cobble streets. It's cute. I'm not super impressed, to be honest. It's very quiet. I buy a postcard.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch. Trying to find a decent restaurant proves difficult. The "local" food is… hearty, but not exactly inspiring. The beer selection, however, is phenomenal. I try another two.
- 3:00 PM: A hike! To get away from the tourists. A very tiring hike up a steep hill. Dave moans the entire way. Sarah keeps falling behind. But the view? Spectacular. I feel a wave of happiness.
- 5:00 PM: Back at the holiday home. Sauna time! Time to relax, and chill. I feel so good.
- 7:00 PM: A delicious dinner of cheese, meats, and bread. A massive, tasty treat! We actually have a good time.
- 8:00 PM: We all get a little sentimental. Brenda reminisces about her childhood. Dave tells a story about a very bad experience. Sarah cries talking about a pet cat. I realize I'm the only not crying. Is it the beer? Likely.
- 10:00 PM: Sauna number three. I drink a beer. I relax.
- 11:00 PM: Bed.
Day 4: Departure & the Aftermath
- 9:00 AM: Pack up. The mood is a little melancholy. We are all a bit sleep deprived.
- 10:00 AM: Drive back to the airport. Thankfully, the car journey is uneventful, or is "uneventful" just our new standard of driving?
- 1:00 PM: The airport. Goodbyes are awkward. We're clearly all a bit emotionally exhausted.
- The Aftermath: (Back home)
- I have a terrible headache.
- I start replaying all the fun moments and all the awkward and terrible moments.
- Brenda texts pictures of her "clean and organized" fridge.
- Dave sends a grumpy text saying "I'm never doing that again." (But he'll go. He always does.)
- Sarah messages to ask if anyone saw her phone charger.
- I decide to book the sauna again next year. Because, despite the mayhem, the memories, the arguments, and the sometimes-too-much beer, it was… good. It was really good. And, you know what? I'm already looking forward to the next trip. Maybe with less beer next time. Probably not.
Escape to Paradise: Luxurious Malmedy Sauna Holiday Home - The Truth... (And a Whole Lotta Rambling)
Is it REALLY luxurious, or just Instagram-filtered lies?
The Sauna! Is it worth the hype (and the price)?
What's the deal with the location? Is it as remote and idyllic as it sounds?
Are there enough activities to keep you busy, or do you just…stare at the mountains? (Please say you stared at the mountains.)
Speaking of food, do you cook? Is the kitchen well equipped?
Was there anything that genuinely sucked? Did anything fall short of your expectations?
So, would you go back? (And more importantly, SHOULD I go?)
