Escape to Heaven: Your Dream Farmhouse Awaits in Haaksbergen!
Escape to Heaven: My Chaotic, Wonderful, and Slightly Flawed Farmhouse Fantasia in Haaksbergen! (A Tangled Review)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I just returned from a stay at "Escape to Heaven" in Haaksbergen, and let me tell you… it was a ride. Forget a structured, perfectly polished review. This is more like… a conversation. Think of it as me, sprawled on my sofa, a cup of lukewarm tea in hand (because, let's be honest, I forgot to reheat it). I'm still unpacking both literally and figuratively.
Metadata & SEO (Let's Get This Part Over With… But It's Kinda Important, Right?)
Keywords: Escape to Heaven, Haaksbergen, Farmhouse, Spa, Wellness, Accessible, Wheelchair Accessible, Restaurant, Swimming Pool, Sauna, Massage, Dutch Getaway, Netherlands, Family Friendly, Romantic Getaway, Spa Break, Luxury Stay, Pet-Friendly (sort of… see below!), Cleanliness, Safety, Restaurant Review, Hotel Review, Dutch Vacation
Meta Description: My unfiltered take on "Escape to Heaven" in Haaksbergen! From the blissful spa to the surprisingly good (and sometimes not so good) food. Wheelchair accessibility? Wi-Fi woes? Family fun and little quirks? I've got you covered. Prepare for a rollercoaster of a review!
(Right, SEO done. Now, the real fun begins…)
Accessibility: The Good, the Okay, and the "Hmm… Could Be Better"
Let's be real, accessibility is huge for me, and I'm happy to report (mostly) good news here! "Escape to Heaven" clearly tries. They boast wheelchair accessibility, which I can confirm is true for most of the public areas. The elevator was a godsend, thank the heavens. However, there were a couple of minor hiccups. Some door openings could feel a bit tight, and while there were ramp options in place, navigating certain areas felt… shall we say… a bit more of an adventure than anticipated. A proper, detailed site inspection document would be fantastic, and I sincerely hope they continuously enhance accessibility.
Restaurants and Lounges: Food, Glorious Food (and a Few Speed Bumps…)
Okay, the food situation. This is where things get particularly interesting… and maybe a little rant-worthy.
Restaurants & Dining: A Bit of a Rollercoaster Ride
- The A la Carte Restaurant: We dined here a few times, and while the food varied, the overall experience was mostly positive. The International cuisine was generally well-executed, but some dishes were clear winners (think the perfectly grilled steak) and others… let's just say, “a bit experimental.”
- The Buffet: I am not a buffet person. Okay? I get weird about shared surfaces and potential germs - I brought my own wipes, in case you're wondering. That being said, the breakfast buffet was actually pretty decent. The Asian breakfast options were a pleasant surprise. They had fresh fruit, pastries, and a decent selection of hot dishes. The coffee, however, was… well, let's just say it wasn't the best coffee I've ever had. I definitely made ample use of the Coffee/tea in restaurant option, though!
Other Dining Bits and Bobs:
- Room Service – My personal saviour: This was a godsend, especially after a long day at the spa. The menu was decent, and the food arrived surprisingly quickly.
- My Room Service Crisis: There was the one slight issue where my order arrived with the wrong kind of bread. I'm gluten-free, and I very (very) gingerly explained this to the server. They handled it with grace and an immediate re-fire. It's not always what you want, but how it's handled.
- The Poolside Bar: We didn't use it, not a fan.
- Room Service – My personal saviour: This was a godsend, especially after a long day at the spa. The menu was decent, and the food arrived surprisingly quickly.
**Overall, the food… a mixed bag. But the atmosphere was generally pleasant, and they *try* to accommodate various dietary needs via their *Alternative meal arrangement* option.
Things to Do (and Ways to Relax): Ah, Bliss… and the Occasional Misstep
This is where "Escape to Heaven" truly shines. I. Loved. The. Spa.
The Spa Experience:
- Pool with a View: The swimming pool was lovely, especially the pool with a view. Seriously, the view alone was worth the trip.
- Sauna & Spa: The Spa/sauna experience was utterly divine. The sauna, steamroom, and foot bath were perfectly maintained.
- Massages, Scrubs, Wraps: I treated myself to a body scrub and massage, both of which were heavenly. The therapist was incredibly skilled, and I practically melted into the table.
- My "Almost Perfect" Massage: The only "problem" was the occasional noise from other guests talking in the public areas. It broke the zen.
- Gym/Fitness: I checked out the fitness center. It was small, but well-equipped. If you like to work out, it's more than adequate.
Other Activities:
- The great outdoors: There's some stunning countryside to explore around the property.
- A Shrine: They have a shrine! I am not sure why.
Cleanliness and Safety: Doing Their Best… But I'm Still a Worrywart
In these times, cleanliness is paramount. "Escape to Heaven" seemed to take it seriously, with daily disinfection in common areas, hand sanitizer readily available, and individually-wrapped food options. Staff trained in safety protocols, but I still did my own thing when possible. * Room Sanitization Opt-Out: They did offer an opt-out for room sanitization, which I appreciated. * My Personal Hygiene Obsession: The amount of cleaning products I went through was borderline embarrassing. I think it's the PTSD from the pandemic. * Cashless payment service
Rooms: Comfortable, but with a Few Quirks
The rooms were generally well-appointed:
- Available in all rooms: Air conditioning, bathroom phone, blackout curtains, coffee/tea maker, complimentary tea, daily housekeeping, desk, extra long bed, free bottled water, hair dryer, in-room safe boxes, internet access – wireless, ironing facilities, mini bar, mirror, non-smoking, private bathroom, reading light, satellite/cable channels, shower, slippers, smoke detector, sofa, soundproofing, telephone, toiletries, towels, wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], window that opens.
- The Bed: The bed was exceedingly comfortable, and the linens were of high quality.
- My "Slightly Frazzled" Arrival: When I first got to the room, it felt a little "cold".
- The Quirks: There was the occasional creak from the floorboards and a slightly temperamental shower. Not dealbreakers, but they added to the farmhouse charm (or, in my more cynical moments, the "rustic imperfection").
- Bathroom: The bathroom was well-equipped, but the pressure in the shower wasn't always fantastic.
- Soundproofing: The soundproofing was generally good, but I could occasionally hear the delightful sounds of children running around the hallways.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things that Matter
- Internet Access (The Wi-Fi Saga):
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!: This is true, but the signal strength was… let's just say, inconsistent. In some areas, it was blazing fast. In others, I was fighting for a bar. Internet access – LAN was available in the rooms, but I'm pretty sure I didn't have a cable with me. It really needed Wi-Fi in all the areas.
- Other Goodies: Concierge service, daily housekeeping, laundry service, luggage storage, and on-site gift shop were all present and helpful.
- Car Park [free of charge]: I was very pleased to find car park [free of charge]. Getting around was easy with the taxi service.
- My "Desperately Seeking a Plug" Moment: The rooms lacked an adequate number of outlets, and the one by the bed was at a rather awkward angle.
- Cash Withdrawal and Currency Exchange:
- Invoice provided
For the Kids (and the Rest of the Family): Fun for Everyone – Maybe?
- Family/child friendly:
- Babysitting service
- Kids meal
- The "Kid Factor": It's overall friendly, but if you're looking for a tranquil, adult-only escape, be prepared for a bit of noise.
**Food, Drinking, and
Unbelievable Belvilla Deal: La Grotta Escape in Italy!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's travel itinerary. This is… well, this is me, about to wrestle with a "Pretty Farmhouse" near Arnhem, Netherlands, and lord knows what else. We're aiming for messy, honest, and probably slightly frazzled. Let's go!
Pretty Farmhouse & Arnhem Adventure: A Chaotic Itinerary
Prologue: Pre-Trip Panic (aka My Brain is currently a blender)
- Days Before Departure: Oh. My. God. The packing. The packing. I swear, I have a whole suitcase dedicated to "maybe" outfits. And what about the weather? Should I pack for a heatwave or a blizzard? The Dutch are notoriously unpredictable. I’m currently battling my anxiety with copious amounts of tea and the fervent hope my passport hasn't expired. Please, sweet baby Jesus, let my passport be valid.
Day 1: Arrival and the Lovely Netherlandish Confusion
- Morning: Okay, the flight was… well, it was a flight. The guy next to me kept trying to sell me cryptocurrency. I swear, I saw him winking at me from the airplane menu. Ugh! Anyway, we landed in Amsterdam and promptly got lost in Schiphol Airport. It's vast, people! Beautiful, but vast. Finally, found the train to Haaksbergen. I think. I hope.
- Afternoon: Arrived at the "Pretty Farmhouse." It is pretty. Like, ridiculously, Instagram-worthy pretty. Chickens clucking in the yard, that classic Dutch vibe, the air smelling fresh. It's beautiful, and then the reality hits: I'm jet-lagged, and the key doesn't fit. Spent twenty minutes jiggling the darn thing while the chickens judged me. Finally, a helpful farmer (who looked like he’d stepped out of a Van Gogh painting) helped me. Bless his heart. My initial awe melted into a sigh of relief as I finally breached the threshold.
- Evening: Unpacked (mostly). Found a charming little cafe in Haaksbergen for dinner. Ate a ridiculously large plate of bitterballen (deep-fried meatball snacks. Don’t judge me!). Tried to speak Dutch. Uttered the phrase "Excuse me, where is the toilet?" about five times. Got stared at. Ended up pointing and gesturing, which, you know, I suppose is a universal language. Crashed into bed at 8 PM, dreaming of windmills and not being an idiot.
Day 2: The Arnhem Adventure Begins (and My Love-Hate Relationship with Bikes)
- Morning: Woke up feeling vaguely human. Decided to be ambitious and explore Arnhem. Rented a bike. In theory, this is a brilliant idea. In reality, it's me wobbling precariously down cobblestone streets, nearly taking out a very elegant lady in a floral dress. The Dutch are pros at biking. I am not. My bum now hurts.
- Afternoon: Explored the city centre. Arnhem is actually really beautiful, full of historic buildings and charming shops. Had a picnic by the Rhine. This went well, until a rogue seagull stole my sandwich. I swear, the birds here are bolder than New York pigeons. Managed to visit the Airborne Museum, which was incredible. It's powerful. Thinking about the Battle of Arnhem gave me chills. (and it took longer than I thought… the museum is huge!)
- Evening: Pizza and wine at a little bistro. Felt a little bit heartbroken and overwhelmed because of the museum and the events that happened there. It's a tough history. Walked back to the Farmhouse. Admired the silence. Went to bed thinking of heroic and scared young men dying in the fields near my farmhouse.
Day 3: The Great Outdoors (and My Ongoing Battle with Nature)
- Morning: Decided to get "in touch with nature." Went for a hike in the Arnhemse Heuvelrug National Park (yes, I googled it). Got hopelessly lost. The paths looked similar. Wandered around for hours, swatting away more bugs than I care to admit. Saw some sheep. They looked at me with utter disdain.
- Afternoon: Came back and took a long, luxurious bubble bath to soothe my aches.
- Evening: Spent the evening at the farmhouse, cooking. Decided to make a pie. It was an experiment in culinary chaos: the crust burned, the filling was too watery, and the kitchen looked like a flour bomb had exploded. But hey, I made a pie. It was… unique. It was also delicious. Maybe. (I’ll keep you posted.) This is messy, I'm ok with this.
Day 4: Market Day and the Quest for Stroopwafels
- Morning: Went to the Saturday market in Haaksbergen. Found the most delicious stroopwafels ever. Stroopwafels are, and I am not overstating this, a religious experience. The smell, the gooey caramel… I bought like, five. Maybe six.
- Afternoon: Tried to learn how to ride a bike like a Dutch person (more falling, more near-accidents. Still sucks).
- Evening: The best day ever! Watched the sunset from the farmhouse. It felt warm and serene. Contemplated life, freedom, and how long my stroopwafel stash would last. Spoiler: not long.
Day 5: Departure & Final Ramblings
- Morning: Packed (mostly). Said a tearful goodbye to the chickens (kidding!). Drove back to the airport. Took one last look at the peaceful fields and I can almost imagine myself happy again.
- Afternoon: Airport. Another flight. More screaming babies. More people trying to sell me things.
- Evening: Home. Exhausted, covered in chicken feathers (long story), and utterly, gloriously happy. This ridiculous, imperfect adventure was the best. I learned that the Dutch are lovely (and excellent cyclists). I learned that I am terrible at bike riding! I learned that no matter how hard I prepare, the perfect trip doesn't exist. Travel is about the mess, the wrong turns, the stolen sandwiches, and the damn stroopwafels. And that's what makes it beautiful. Till next time, Netherlands. I'll be back (and I'm bringing my own damn bike helmet).
Fin
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Escape to Heaven: Your Dream Farmhouse Awaits… or Does It? FAQs – The *Real* Scoop!
So, is this "Escape to Heaven" thing REALLY heaven? Like, angels and harps heaven?
Okay, let's be real, "Heaven" might be a *slight* exaggeration. Think more… *earthly* paradise. Think cows, not cherubs. Think fresh air that smells like… well, *farm* air, not celestial perfume. Don't get me wrong, Haaksbergen is beautiful. Stunning. But angels? Haven't seen any. Though, the sunsets? *Almost* made me believe. One evening, I was just sat on the porch with a beer, and the sky just *exploded* with color. I swear, I almost started humming a hymn. Almost. But then I remembered I had to, you know, feed the chickens. And chicken feed doesn't smell like heaven, just… chicken feed. And sometimes that's the whole point. You know?
What's the farmhouse actually *like*? Is it all rustic charm and cozy fireplaces?
Rustic charm? Absolutely. Cozy fireplaces? Yep. But… (and there's always a but, isn't there?) it's also… *old*. Which, honestly, is part of the charm. But let's just say the floorboards occasionally creak like they're having a conversation. And the plumbing? Well, it has its moods. One morning, turned on the shower, got a trickle of… well, let's just say it wasn't exactly the temperature I was expecting. More like a chilling premonition. Lesson learned: always check the water pressure *before* you disrobe. The fireplace *is* amazing, by the way. Perfect for snuggling up with a good book and a glass of wine. Just make sure you know how to *actually* build a fire. I spent a whole afternoon just… looking at smoke. It wasn't my finest moment. But hey, I learned!
Okay, but what about the Wi-Fi? I need to, like, *work* sometimes…
Wi-Fi… ah, the modern-day Achilles' heel. It's… present. Sometimes. Look, let's be honest, you're not moving out there to get your Netflix on at super-fast speeds. Embrace the slow living! I’ve experienced everything from lightning-fast download speeds to "crickets chirping" levels of connectivity. Sometimes, the signal just… vanishes. Like a magician's rabbit. It's an opportunity for digital detox, I guess, although I did spend a whole day trying to get a decent connection. I even went outside and waved my phone at the sky. People probably thought I was crazy. I probably *was* a little crazy, actually. But you know what? By the end, I was just sitting there, watching the clouds drift by, and it wasn't so bad. Maybe the Wi-Fi gods were doing me a favor.
Is Haaksbergen a boring place? Or is there stuff to *do*?
Boring? Absolutely not! Quiet? Yes. Which is a good thing *sometimes*! Look, Haaksbergen isn't Amsterdam. You're not going to find neon lights and all-night dance clubs. But if you're looking for rolling hills, charming villages, and friendly faces? You've hit the jackpot. There are hiking trails galore, perfect for getting lost in nature (in a good way!). The thing they don't tell you is how *tired* you will get from walking. One day, I went on this incredible hike. Breathtaking scenery, fresh air, everything was perfect until I stumbled into a cow pasture (who knew cows had such judging eyes?). And then there's the local markets, the quaint cafes, and the… well, the *peace*. It's a different kind of excitement, alright? Less adrenaline, more… contentment. And honestly? I needed that.
What about food? Is it all just, like, potatoes and dairy products?
Okay, look, the Netherlands is famous for its… well, let's say its *comfort food*. You'll definitely encounter potatoes. And cheese. And possibly a lot of them. But trust me, there's more! There are amazing local markets with fresh produce, and some fantastic restaurants serving Dutch cuisine. I had this *amazing* apple tart one time… (and yes, I'm still thinking about it). One day, I tried to cook a traditional Dutch dish. It went… poorly. Let's just say, the smoke alarm got a workout. But! Lesson learned. Now, I'm an expert in… ordering takeout. Which is a perfectly acceptable skill, in my book. Plus, the local bakeries? Heaven. Seriously.
Are there any animals? I love animals!
Animals? Honey, you're in the countryside! There *are* animals. Lots of them. Cows, sheep, chickens, probably a rogue pig or two wandering around (just speculating). Also, the birds! The singing! It's like nature's own personal orchestra. And there's the friendly farm cats. My experience with the local animals? Mixed. The chickens? They judge. The cows? They stare. The cat? That one is friendly and wants you to pet it. The best one. And I'm not saying I might have, maybe, accidentally, let a chicken into the kitchen once. It was an accident! The resulting mess? Not so heavenly.
Is it hard to get around without a car?
You can *try* to get around without a car, I suppose. But I wouldn't recommend it. Bikes are great for short trips, and the scenery is lovely. But if you're planning on exploring any further afield, a car is a huge advantage. Public transport exists, but it's not exactly the speediest or most frequent. I once tried to get to a neighboring town by bus. Let's just say I got a *very* good look at the local bus stop. And the scenery. For what felt like an eternity. Trust me, driving is the way to go. Plus, you get to blast your music and sing at the top of your lungs (while, you know, keeping an eye on the road).
What's the WORST thing about staying at the farmhouse? Spill!
Oof. The worst thing? Okay, hands down… the *flies*. They're relentless. Absolutely relentless. You'll swear they have some sort of internal GPS that leads them directly to you, buzzing in your ear like tiny, infuriating kamikaze pilots. And the spiders. Not giant monster spiders, thankfully, but enough to make you jump a little. One evening, I was trying to enjoy a particularly delicious stroopwafel (those things are amazing, by the way) on the porch, and suddenly there was this *massive* spider dangling right inFind Your Perfect Stay
