Geesteren's Ash Farm: A Monumental Dutch Secret You NEED to See!
Geesteren's Ash Farm Review: My Secret Dutch Getaway (Shhh…Don’t Tell!) 🤫
Okay, alright, buckle up buttercups, because I just got back from a place so ridiculously charming, so ridiculously Dutch, it’s practically illegal. I'm talking about Geesteren's Ash Farm, and honestly, I’m still dreaming about it. Forget those perfectly curated Instagram feeds – this place is the real deal, a messy, beautiful, imperfect slice of Dutch heaven. Consider this your highly-opinionated, slightly-rambling, and utterly honest review.
Accessibility & Getting There: The Little Hurdles That Actually Make It Better
First things first: getting to Geesteren. It's rural, people! Embrace the countryside. While the farm itself is a dream, I have to be honest, the accessibility situation is… well, it’s there. The website mentions Facilities for disabled guests but I suggest checking individual accessibility before booking. I'm not in a wheelchair, so I didn't have to check, but I imagine maneuvering around the grounds could be tricky in some spots. However, I did see an Elevator – a delightful contraption straight out of a Wes Anderson film – so that’s promising!
The Airport transfer certainly comes in handy! Thankfully, after a flight that felt like 24 hours (curse you, delayed connections!), I was whisked away in a comfy car to the farm. Car park [free of charge]! Always a plus, and I saw Car power charging station, which is fantastic for the eco-conscious traveler!
Rooms: Where Comfort Meets Cozy (and Maybe a Few Minor Quirks)
My room? Oh, my room! It wasn't just a room; it was a sanctuary. Think Air conditioning, Blackout curtains (essential for those epic Dutch sunsets!), and a super Extra long bed - crucial for my ridiculously long legs!
It also had a Refrigerator, allowing me to store my precious Dutch snacks (stroopwafels for days!). The Coffee/tea maker was my best friend in the mornings (and afternoons, and evenings…). And the Free bottled water? A lifesaver after a long day of exploring.
Now, for the imperfections, because Geesteren's Ash Farm is wonderfully human: the Bathroom phone? Still a thing! A total throwback, but strangely charming. The Wi-Fi [free] was mostly solid, but occasionally flickered out – perfect for forcing you to actually Wake-up service and experience the place!
Food, Glorious Food (And My Near-Disastrous Buffet Experience!)
Okay, let's talk about the food. This is where Geesteren truly shines! Breakfast [buffet]! Breakfast service! Asian breakfast! And oh my goodness… International cuisine in restaurant! Western cuisine in restaurant! I was in heaven.
The Buffet in restaurant was a sight to behold! I went on a mission, a breakfast mission! I built a tower of smoked salmon, scrambled eggs, pastries, and fruit. I was feeling confident, a true connoisseur of the buffet arts. Then… disaster struck. I piled my plate too high, and my carefully constructed masterpiece toppled! Eggs everywhere, salmon on my shirt. Mortified!
Thankfully, the staff, bless their hearts, were so lovely. They brought me a fresh plate, a fresh napkin, and a knowing smile. "These things happen, madam," one of them said. And you know what? He was right. It did happen. And it was hilarious, in retrospect.
I was also charmed by the Bottle of water they left in the room as well as the possibility of Breakfast in room and Breakfast takeaway service.
The A la carte in restaurant was also delicious, by the way!
Relaxation Station: Spa, Sauna & My Epic Foot Bath Debacle
Alright, relaxation time! Geesteren's Ash Farm Spa is pure bliss. A Sauna, a Steamroom, a Pool with view, and of course, a Swimming pool [outdoor] where you can swim laps while admiring the Poolside bar. I managed to get lost in an hour-long Massage… Body scrub, Body wrap…. I went from stressed mess to zen master in about 3 hours.
Then there was the Foot bath. I always love a foot bath! So relaxing… until, I somehow spilled the steaming water all over myself. Talk about awkward! I was lucky to find a Bathrobe to save the day! Slippers, of course, were also a welcomed guest!
Things to Do: Beyond the Spa (and My Confessions… About the Gym)
Okay, so, Geesteren's Ash Farm makes it hard to leave. I spent most of my time Relaxing, but there’s plenty to do. The Fitness center (which I didn’t actually use – sue me!) and Gym/fitness are there for the fitness fanatics.
There's the local area. The Shrine seemed to have stories from all over the world, the Meetings/banquet facilities are perfect for all types of occasion, and there are Outdoor venue for special events. I swear, I saw people Smoking area and having the best time, and a Convenience store to buy some things.
Cleanliness & Safety: Feeling Safe & Cared For
Now, in a world of… well, you know… Cleanliness and safety is paramount. Geesteren's Ash Farm takes it seriously. There were Cashless payment service, along with Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer everywhere, and Staff trained in safety protocol. Rooms sanitized between stays? Check. Safe dining setup? Absolutely. I felt incredibly safe and respected, despite the chaos of my buffet mishap.
Services & Conveniences: A Little Bit of Everything
This place is loaded with amenities. Daily housekeeping (bless them!), Laundry service, Dry cleaning, Meeting/banquet facilities (I didn't go to any meeting though!), and Luggage storage. They even offer Invoice provided. The Concierge was super helpful with everything, from booking taxis to recommending local restaurants. The Elevator was super cute too! It makes everything easier.
The Kids Corner and More:
I didn't go with any kids, but Family/child friendly is so important. They even had a Babysitting service if a parent gets stuck in the Spa for too long. 🤣
In a Nutshell: Go! (But Maybe Pack a Stain Remover)
Geesteren's Ash Farm isn’t perfect. It's a little rough around the edges, a little quirky, and sometimes, a little messy (at least for me). But that’s precisely what makes it so wonderful. It’s real, it’s charming, and it’s the perfect escape from the cookie-cutter world of chain hotels. Just be ready to embrace the imperfections, pack some stain remover (just in case), and prepare to fall in love with the Dutch countryside… and maybe even the Buffet! Just… maybe take it easy on the eggs.
Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stroopwafels (deducting half a point for my personal buffet trauma!)
SEO & Metadata (because, yes, I’m also a responsible reviewer):
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- Meta Description: A brutally honest review of Geesteren's Ash Farm, a stunning Dutch secret! Explore its charm, accessibility, food, spa, quirks, and everything in between. Your insider's guide to an unforgettable getaway!
- Title: Geesteren's Ash Farm Review: A Deliciously Messy Dutch Getaway You NEED to See!
- Focus Keyword: Geesteren's Ash Farm Review
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because you're about to dive headfirst into the (possibly disastrous, probably amazing) whirlwind that is my trip to Monumental Farm in Geesteren, Netherlands. This ain't your polished brochure itinerary, folks. This is the real, unfiltered deal. Prepare for:
Monumental Farm, Geesteren: The Diary of a Clusterfu…I mean Adventurer
(Day 1: Arrival and Oh Dear God, Is That a Rake?!)
09:00: Arrive at Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam. Jetlag hits me like a rogue windmill blade. I stumble onto the train, already convinced I've left my passport in the duty-free shop (I hadn't, thankfully. Yet.).
11:00: Train to Almelo. The scenery is… fields. Lots and lots of fields. Beautiful, tranquil fields. I try to look sophisticated while sipping lukewarm coffee, but I probably just look confused. I feel like I'm in a Vermeer painting, except I'm wearing a fleece jacket and questionable sneakers.
12:30: Picked up the rental car in Almelo. It's a tiny, slightly terrifying thing with a persistent ding somewhere in the engine. I name it "Clunkbucket". Pray for me.
13:30: Arrive at Monumental Farm. Whoa. The pictures are almost as stunning as the reality. Thatched roof, rolling hills, the whole shebang. I'm instantly filled with a sudden burst of joy. It's as if I already know how much I'd love it here, and it's only been a few minutes. And then I see a rake. Next to a wheelbarrow. And I suddenly remember my inherent un-handiness. This could be a problem.
14:00: Checked in, and met with the owners. Super friendly. They welcome you with a smile and tell you some tips about the area. The place oozes charm. Immediately, I decided that I wanted to live here forever. I'm basically already planning how to convince my family to move here.
15:00: Wandered around. And instantly got lost. The farm is massive. Sheep, chickens, the occasional grumpy cow giving me the side-eye. I'm pretty sure one of the chickens is judging my navigational skills. I nearly step in something that's definitely not fertilizer. Note to self: watch where you're walking.
16:00: Settled in. Had a cup of tea (British blood, can't be helped). The view from the window is genuinely breathtaking. Maybe, just maybe, I can handle the rake.
19:00: Dinner at a local restaurant. The food is surprisingly good. I order something I can barely pronounce (a "stamppot" is involved. I think). The beer is even better. I accidentally spill some of it on my shirt. I decide it adds character.
21:00: Stargazing. The night sky is a canvas of diamonds. I've never seen so many stars. I feel ridiculously small, but in a good way. I start thinking about the universe, and eventually fall asleep on the little bench outside. In the freezing cold.
(Day 2: Bikes, Bakeries, and a near-death experience with a Dutch windmill)
08:00: Wake up with a crick in my neck and the vague feeling of having been abducted by aliens. Decide to have a shower, and after, I try to comb my hair. With a fork. I'd forgotten to pack a hairbrush. First adventure of the day completed!
09:00: Breakfast. Delicious fresh bread, cheese, and what I think might be jam. I consider asking what it is, but I'm too afraid that it's something I'm allergic to.
10:00: Bike ride! Oh, the Dutch and their bikes. Get around with ease, with seemingly infinite supplies of water. I cycle through the beautiful landscape, filled with forests and farms. I smile the entire time, only stopping every few minutes for a photo.
11:30: I get lost again. This time on purpose. I end up at a quaint village and find a bakery. The air is thick with the smell of warm bread, and I enter and am immediately charmed.
12:00: I spend an hour in the bakery, trying all sorts of pastries. I purchase far too many things I can't pronounce, and eat far too many pastries.
13:00: I make my way back towards the farm. On the way, I see a giant mill. As I approach it, the wind suddenly picks up. I pedal harder and harder. One giant gust of wind and I am sure I'd get hit into oblivion. I survive, and make sure I can see what I went through, and find myself near the very farm I was looking for.
15:00: Arriving back at the farm, I feel like I went through a full day's worth of activity. I spend some more time getting to know the animals. Feeding the sheep is a major highlight. I don't know how to describe it, but I'm sure that every animal I meet absolutely loves me. My ego inflates to the size of Jupiter.
17:00: I begin to attempt some simple gardening. The rake. The wheelbarrow. I managed to not hurt myself. I plant my first seed. I don't even know what it is, but I feel proud.
19:00: I spent the rest of the evening reflecting on the activities of the day. It was a day of simple wonders. I feel at peace. And then the electricity goes out.
(Day 3: Farewell and a Possible Return?)
09:00: Breakfast. Attempt to make coffee using the (now working) French press. Fail spectacularly. End up with a cup of something that looks like mud, but smells amazing. Embrace the imperfection.
10:00: One last wander around the farm. Say goodbye to the sheep (they clearly know I'm leaving and seem sad). Take approximately a million photos.
11:00: Pack up. Clunkbucket starts first try! Miracle!
12:00: Drive to the train. Goodbye Almelo, goodbye Geesteren. As I look back, I ask myself the question: Would I ever return here again? The answer is a resounding yes.
15:00: Train to Amsterdam. I'm exhausted, slightly sunburnt, and smelling vaguely of hay, but my soul feels rejuvenated. The jet lag is back with a vengeance, but I don't care.
16:00: Shopping. Before I return to my apartment, I take my time going through the various shops in the city. I find a lovely cheese shop and purchase a fair amount before making my way to the airport.
19:00: Flight
21:00: Landing. I get home very late, but the trip was a complete success. I can't wait to return.
Final Thoughts:
Monumental Farm wasn't just a trip; it was an experience. It was messy, imperfect, and utterly, spectacularly wonderful. It was a reminder to slow down, breathe, and appreciate the simple beauty of life. And yes, I might have slightly fallen in love with a sheep. Don't judge me.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being a root canal and 10 being winning the lottery, this trip was a solid… 9.5. I'd give it a 10, but the coffee situation was truly dire.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to find a map. And maybe a Dutch dictionary. And definitely, definitely a better hairbrush.
Escape to Paradise: Stunning Rerik Beach Apartment!
Geesteren's Ash Farm: The Dutch Secret You WON'T Believe (And Maybe You Shouldn't) - FAQ Frenzy!
Okay, Okay, What *IS* Geesteren's Ash Farm Anyway? Like, Specifically? Before I Book a Flight!
Alright, buckle up, buttercup, because I'm still trying to fully explain it to *myself*. Geesteren’s Ash Farm (or, as I affectionately call it, "The Ash Hole") is basically... a massive, historically significant, kinda spooky, and *surprisingly* beautiful burial ground. But it's not just *any* burial ground. Think ancient burial mounds, hidden in the Dutch countryside, with a history that goes back... waaaay back. Like, before your grandma was even thinking about becoming a grandma. We're talking ancient rituals, possible pagan vibes, and the kind of silence that makes your ears ring. It's a landscape designed to impress you, it's a statement to your soul, it's like a landscape of pure and utter mystery. You can feel them, even if you're not seeing them!
Think of it this way: Imagine a cemetery that's ALSO a park. A park that's ALSO kind of intimidating. A park that's ALSO probably home to a few ghosts. Or, at the very least, really good at making you *think* there are.
Is it... *scary*? Because I'm a total wimp when it comes to ghosts. Seriously, a creaky door makes me jump.
Okay, let's be real. It's *eerie*. Like, properly, bone-chillingly eerie. I wouldn't say "scary" in the jump-scare sense, but... the atmosphere is *intense*. The wind whispers through the trees, the shadows are long and deceptive, and every rustle of leaves sounds suspiciously like someone (or something) following you.
My first trip? I swear, I saw a shape moving in the corner of my eye. Probably just a cow. Definitely just a cow. But the imagination runs wild amongst the solemnity of the grave sites. Now, it might freak you out. Fine, go with a friend. Better yet, go with a friend and bring a flask of Dutch courage!
Also, be aware... this isn't Disneyland. Your inner child may weep.
How do I get there? Public transport? Should I just rent a car and hope for the best?
Right, so this is where Geesteren throws you a curveball. It's not exactly *easy* to get to. Public transport is, let's say, "limited." You could probably piece together a train/bus/taxi combo, but honestly? Rent a car. It's way less stressful and allows you to explore the surrounding countryside, which, believe me, is worth it.
The drive itself is beautiful, so enjoy it. Just... keep an eye out for cows. They have a habit of wandering out into the road.
What should I bring? And what the heck, what *shouldn't* I bring?
Bring: Comfortable shoes (lots of walking!), a good camera (you'll want photos!), a hat (that Dutch sun can be sneaky!), water, snacks... and maybe a friend. Seriously. And a sense of adventure. And, well, maybe a little bit of respect for history and the dead. Seriously. Like, don't be the loud, giggling tourists who make fun of everything. No one likes those people.
What *not* to bring: Loud music (duh), anything overly flashy (let the place speak for itself), and, most importantly, any disrespect. Common sense, people!
Okay, I'm sold (or maybe just morbidly curious). Are there tours? Guides? Can I just wander around like a crazy person?
There are *some* tours, but don't expect a Disneyland-style guided experience. It's more of a "figure it out yourself" kind of place. You *can* wander around, which is honestly the best way to experience it. But research beforehand! Find out a bit about the history. Understand what you're looking at. Don’t just stumble around like a lost tourist! I may have been a lost tourist on my first trip, and I may or may not have spent an hour staring at a particularly weather-beaten pile of stones, convinced it was a secret pagan altar. It wasn't. It was just, well, a pile of stones.
Check the local tourism website, it might have some info. But even if not? Just go. Explore. Get a bit lost. It's part of the fun!
What’s the deal with the *ashes* part again? Is there still ash? Did someone have a really bad bonfire?
Ugh, good question. The "Ash" in Ash Farm? It refers to the ancient practice of cremation and the placement of ashes in urns or directly into the ground. You probably won't find actual VISIBLE ash everywhere. It’s more about the *idea* of ash, of returning to the earth, of the cycle of life and death.
I'm not going to lie, the thought *did* cross my mind, as the wind howled across the fields and the sun began to set... that I might accidentally stumble into *someone's* final resting place. That thought has a *weird* habit of bouncing around in my head.
Alright, tell me about *your* experience. What was the *one* thing that stuck with you?
Okay, so, the one thing? The *one* moment? It wasn't the potentially-ghostly-cow shape I thought I saw. It wasn't the wind, even though the wind was pretty amazing. It was... the feeling of *connection*.
I found myself standing on top of one of the larger burial mounds. The sun was setting. The colors were incredible. And suddenly, I just... *got it*. I understood, in a very small way, why people have been drawn to this place for centuries. It’s not just a cemetery; it's a testament to human history, to our mortality, to our yearning for connection that transcends time and even death itself.
I felt… something. I'm not sure *what* it was. Peaceful? Maybe. Awe-struck? Definitely. But, mostly, I felt... small. Like a tiny blip in the grand scheme of things. And in a weird way? That was a good thing.
Is it family friendly? Cause I'm taking the kids. And how about wheelchair accessibility?
Hmm. Family-friendly? That’s a tough one. If your kids are into history and quiet contemplation, sure! If theyHotel Search Trek
