Escape to Paradise: Belgian Cottage with Sauna & Bubble Baths!
Paradise Found (and Almost Lost!) – A Review of Escape to Paradise: Belgian Cottage with Sauna & Bubble Baths! (Messy Edition)
Okay, strap in folks, because this isn’t your average, sanitized hotel review. We're diving headfirst into the Belgian Cottage experience, warts and all. I need to be absolutely crystal clear: Escape to Paradise is a bold name, even bordering on delusional. But, did it mostly deliver? Let’s get real.
SEO & Metadata First (Sorry, Gotta Get this out of the Way):
- Keywords: Belgian Cottage, Sauna, Bubble Bath, Spa, Relaxation, Getaway, Wellness Retreat, Wheelchair Accessible, Pet-Friendly (if applicable), Restaurant, WiFi, Luxury, Romantic Getaway, Family-Friendly, Belgium, Review, Hotel, Cottage, Escape, Paradise.
- Meta Description: A brutally honest and hilarious review of Escape to Paradise: Belgian Cottage with Sauna & Bubble Baths! Detailing the good, the bad, and the bubble-filled awkward moments. Find out if it lives up to its lofty name! Includes details on accessibility, amenities, dining, and the overall experience.
- Categories: Hotels & Resorts, Spa & Wellness, Romantic Getaways, Pet-Friendly Accommodations (if relevant), Family Hotels, Accessible Hotels.
The Build-Up (and My Panic!)
I booked this place with…let's just say, optimism. The photos! The promise of a private sauna! Bubble baths! Pure, unadulterated Zen. My partner and I were craving a recharge, a solid dose of "us" time. The website promised a perfect escape, a sanctuary.
Accessibility: The Reality Check (and Relief!)
Right off the bat, kudos. Escape to Paradise actually tried to be accessible. (They advertise "Facilities for disabled guests"). There's an elevator, always a win. Wheelchair-accessible rooms (I’ll confirm availability and spec with them next time, but the website doesn't explicitly mention it) were advertised, which is a huge plus. The info about accessible routes was pretty vague, but it's a start. Seriously, in a world where "accessible" often means a ramp bolted onto a crumbling staircase, this earned major points. I'll be honest I forgot to bring up some more hard specifics about what type of disability the building supports but its a start.
Internet Access: Bless the Wi-Fi Gods!
Oh, sweet relief! Free Wi-Fi in ALL rooms! Praise the internet gods! I’m a digital nomad, so this is non-negotiable. Thank you for not having to pay extra for the ability to breathe! And the Wi-Fi in public areas held up too, thank goodness. I even saw a little “Internet [LAN]” box on the details page.
The Pampering Parade (or, My Sauna Saga)
Let's talk spa, shall we? This is where the “Paradise” starts to breathe. The sauna? Pure bliss. I sweat out all the stress, all the deadlines, all the… life. The Steamroom was a great edition, and they also actually have a Spa with a lot of options. The Body wrap left me feeling like a pampered marshmallow. The Massage? Okay, so I’ve had better, the masseuse was a little…enthusiastic, let's say. But hey, at least it wasn't a bad massage.
Now, about those Bubble Baths… I mean, it’s in the name! And, yes, they delivered. Huge, bubbly, Instagram-worthy eruptions of frothy goodness. I spent a solid hour just… existing. It was glorious. Okay, fine, I took a bunch of selfies. Don’t judge! (Also, the Foot bath was surprisingly delightful after a day of hiking.)
Cleanliness and Safety: COVID-19 Edition
I felt mostly safe. They are running Anti-viral cleaning products and have Daily disinfection in common areas. The Room sanitization opt-out available option is pretty good. The website stated they had some Staff trained in safety protocol, which I was happy to see. They also included Hot water linen and laundry washing. However, the Physical distancing of at least 1 meter guidelines were…well, they tried. The staff wore masks, which was great.
On the other hand, they do have Room sanitization opt-out available. And there’s First aid kit available.
Dining: Food, Glorious (and Sometimes Awkward) Food
Okay, let's talk food. The website said Breakfast [buffet] (a lifesaver after a night of bubbles!) which, in theory, is awesome. But… it was a little… chaotic. Honestly, I think they were understaffed. They also have Breakfast takeaway service, which is good. They also have Asian cuisine in restaurant. I had a great experience in their Vegetarian restaurant, and their Coffee/tea in restaurant, just the smell had me smiling. The Poolside bar was a fun place. The food arrived in a flash!
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter
Daily housekeeping was a godsend – especially after that bubble bath. They have Concierge, and the check-in/check-out process was a breeze Contactless check-in/out. The Laundry service was a lifesaver. Shoutout to the Luggage storage, because I’m a chronic over-packer.
For The Kids: (I Left Mine at Home, Thank God)
The website lists Babysitting service. So, if you actually bring the kids, bonus points! I could practically sense the stress-free vibe of the place just from not having to chase crotch goblins for a weekend.
The Bedroom - Where the Magic (or Grumbling) Happens:
The room itself was lovely, Non-smoking, which is a huge win. We had a Seating area, which I used for endless naps. The Blackout curtains were essential for sleeping in. The Free bottled water kept me very hydrated.
Getting Around: (Pretty Standard, TBH)
Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Bicycle parking were all available – nothing to write home about, but helpful. They also offer Airport transfer and Taxi service.
The Imperfections:
Okay, here’s the messy part. Remember the almost lost?
- The Location: I'm not going to lie, the "Belgian Cottage" felt a little…out of the way. The website said it was “secluded.” Let's just say it was remotely located.
- The Ambience: The decor was…eclectic. A mix of cozy cottage-core and…something else. It was a little bit too much.
- The Noise: The walls weren’t as soundproof as they claimed. I could hear…things. Let’s leave it at that. Shudders.
The Verdict: Is it Paradise?… Mostly.
Look, Escape to Paradise might not be a genuine, unadulterated slice of heaven. It has some flaws. But the positives mostly outweigh the negatives. The sauna? Fantastic. The bubble baths? Divine. The staff? Mostly friendly. The Wi-Fi? Blessedly reliable. The "escape" portion of its name is a solid 8/10.
Would I go back? Yeah, probably. But next time, I'm bringing earplugs and setting my expectations a little lower. And maybe a bigger bottle of bubble bath.
Final Rating: 4 out of 5 bubble-filled, slightly-eccentric stars. Prepare to be pampered, and slightly bemused. You've been warned!
Escape to Paradise: Luxurious Forest Getaway in Nieuwleusen, Netherlands
Stavelot, Belgium: A Cottage, a Sauna, and My Own Darn Chaos (Itinerary-ish)
Okay, so here's the vague outline of my Belgian cottage adventure. Don't hold me to it. Seriously. I'm the kind of person who gets distracted petting a stray cat and ends up missing my train. But here goes, the messy, glorious attempt at a schedule:
Day 1: Arrival & The Impending Bliss (and the "Oh Crap, Did I Pack Enough Socks?" Panic)
- Morning (Around 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM, depending on the train's mood): Arrive in Stavelot. Train travel from Brussels? Ugh, Brussels Midi. Prepare for the usual scrum. Hopefully, I don't end up jammed between a screaming baby and a guy who thinks his backpack is a personal forcefield. First observation: Why is everyone so obsessed with backpacks that could survive a nuclear blast? Are we expecting a zombie apocalypse at any moment?
- Check-in (Whenever the cottage owner is ready): Find the lovely modern cottage advertised. This is where the dream starts. Visions of roaring fire (if there is one), fluffy towels, and that promised sauna dance in my head. Emotion: Pure, unadulterated, pre-vacation JOY.
- Afternoon (Post-check-in, let's say 1:00 PM - 3:00 PM): Unpack. The ritual. Emptying the suitcase, strategically placing travel-sized toiletries on the bathroom counter. Always. Always overpack socks. I swear, once upon a time I forgot socks for 2 days, and I’m still traumatized. Opinionation: Why is packing always a gamble? Will I have the perfect outfits, or will I be a fashion disaster in a foreign land? The existential dread is real.
- Late Afternoon/Evening (As chaos dictates): Explore Stavelot. Walk around, take a peek at the Abbey, maybe grab groceries. Rambling thought: Speaking of groceries, I must find chocolate. Belgian chocolate is practically a religious experience. Also, need bread. And cheese. And maybe some beer. Obviously.
- Pre-Dinner Nibbles (6:00 PMish): Crack open that beer (or a glass of wine, depending on the day's stresses). Nibble on the cheese and bread. Emotional Rollercoaster: The first bite of local cheese. The joy of the first sip of beer. The relief of finally being here. This is what I live for.
- Evening (Post-Nibbles, ongoing): Dinner prep! Let’s just say, I feel confident enough to make dinner. Hopefully I find a market or the super market and don't starve.
- Evening Continued (as the Gods intended): Sauna time! The moment of truth. Will this sauna live up to the hype? Will I accidentally burn my bottom? Let’s find out! Bubbles baths, wine, and a good book? Oh god, here I come.
Day 2: Abbey Adventures and the Art of Doing Nothing (and Maybe a Slight Wine Hangover)
- Morning (Whenever I manage to drag myself out of bed, which could be noon): Post-sauna bliss. Sleep in. Probably wake up regretting all the wine I drank the night before. The sun will probably be shining. Quirky Observation: The silence of a foreign land is both comforting and slightly unnerving. It’s like the world is holding its breath.
- Late Morning/Early Afternoon (whenever): Visit the Abbey of Stavelot. History and architecture and all that jazz. Honestly, I’m more excited about the potential for beautiful photos. Let's not pretend I'm not a social media whore. Opinionated outburst: Cathedrals and monuments are amazing (I guess), but I have to be honest. I prefer the markets.
- Afternoon (Wherever the whim takes me): Wandering through Stavelot. Possibly getting utterly lost. Anecdote: One time, I got hopelessly lost in Venice. Ended up wandering for hours. Found a tiny, hidden gelato shop and it was the best dang thing that happened to me. I'm hoping for a similar accidental gelato discovery here.
- Late Afternoon/Evening (Around 5 PM - 7 PM): Cooking a simple dinner and getting ready for the evening. Emotional reaction: Is it possible to be homesick for a place you've only just arrived in? I feel content to relax, so content.
- Evening (Let’s play it by ear): Another sauna session? Maybe. Some more bubbles? Definitely. Perhaps I won't drink as much wine this time. Oh who am I kidding?
Day 3: The Great Departure (And the Bitter Sweetness of Saying Goodbye)
- Morning (Whenever I feel like it): Breakfast. Pack those socks (and everything else). Minor category: The bittersweet agony of packing.
- Late Morning/Early Afternoon (As the train schedule dictates): A final wander through the town. Buy some souvenirs. Probably overspend at the chocolate shop. Opinionated rant: I probably won't even eat any. I'll be bringing them home as gifts, like a responsible adult. (Sure, Jan).
- Afternoon (Departure Time): Catch the train back to Brussels. Emotion: A mix of sadness (leaving paradise) and a giddy anticipation of going home. This trip has been so restorative.
Post-Trip Rambling & Realizations (to be written after the fact):
- Did I actually stick to the schedule? Probably not.
- Did I find the perfect slice of chocolate heaven? Hopefully.
- Did I become fluent in Belgian French? Absolutely not.
- Did I have a fabulous time? Hell yes.
- Did the cottage live up to the hype? I'll let you know, after the fact.
Okay, that's the general idea. Now, time to actually go and live it (and hopefully document it, even if in a hilariously disorganized manner). Wish me luck! I have a feeling I'll need it.
Escape to Paradise: Luxurious Forest Getaway in Nieuwleusen, Netherlands
Escape to Paradise: Belgian Cottage with Sauna & Bubble Baths - FAQ! (Because Real Life Doesn't Have Perfect FAQs)
Okay, so...is this place *actually* paradise? The photos look...perfect.
Alright, let's be real. "Paradise" is a big word. The photos? Gorgeous. Sunlight streaming through the windows, the sauna all steamy and inviting, the bubbly perfection of the bath... But paradise...is a touch overselling it (a *tiny* bit!).
Look, it IS incredibly charming. It's got that whole "Hygge" thing down – warm, cozy, and *almost* makes you forget the world outside. Except…there was that one time I tripped on the wonky paving stone on the way to the hot tub. Scraped knee, dignity slightly bruised. So, Paradise? Maybe Paradise with a *hint* of "oops, careful!"
But seriously, the sauna...that's the closest you'll get. Pure, unadulterated bliss. I swear, I could feel all my deadlines and emails melt away with every bead of sweat.
The sauna! Tell me about the sauna! Is it... like, a *real* sauna? Or a glorified, slightly heated cupboard?
Oh, the sauna. My favorite part. And yes, it's a *real* sauna. Like, proper, wood-paneled, get-ready-to-sweat-buckets sauna. It’s the kind where you can just *sit* there and *think* – or more realistically, drift in and out of consciousness. I recommend the latter…
The first time I went in, I maybe…overdid it? I thought, "Surely, I can handle this! I’m a strong, independent person!" Wrong. About five minutes in, I was practically hallucinating. Needed a cold shower and a strong cup of tea (because, apparently, Hydration. Who knew?). But after I got the hang of it, it was divine. Seriously, my skin felt like velvet afterward. Velvet, I tell you!
And the bubble baths? Are they Instagram-worthy levels of fabulous? Because my life needs more bubbles.
Right, the bubbles. Okay, here’s the thing: the bubble baths ARE very good. Like, excellent bubble-to-water ratio. They get the bubbles *just* right. However, here’s my honest confession - I tried to make a bubble bath with *way* too much bubble bath. The entire bathroom filled up with bubbly foam. I couldn't find the taps. It was… an experience. My advice? Moderation. Learn from my mistakes.
On the plus side, the bathroom is spacious. You can bring your book, your wine, even a rubber ducky if that's your style. Just…maybe keep the bubble bath amount sane.
Is it actually *in* Belgium? Because the map showed...somewhere I've never heard of.
Okay, fair question. The listing says "Belgian Cottage," which... technically correct, but it's nestled somewhere in the Ardennes region. Think rolling hills, dense forests, and tiny, charming villages. It's like stepping into a postcard! Okay, a slightly damp postcard, because, you know, Belgium *does* have its share of drizzle.
Getting there can be a bit of an adventure, so make sure your GPS is reliable. Mine decided to take me on a "scenic route" involving a very narrow, very windy road that I'm pretty sure was designed for sheep, not cars. But, the journey is part of the fun, right? (Side note: pack snacks. You'll need them.)
Is it good for a romantic getaway? Or is it more of a "solo hideaway from the world" kind of place?
Both! Honestly, the cottage is incredibly versatile. Romantic getaway? Absolutely. Imagine snuggling up by the fireplace (which, by the way, is *gorgeous*), sharing a bottle of wine, and then…sauna and bubbles! Perfect.
Solo hideaway? Also brilliant. I went on my own, and it was exactly what I needed. No distractions, no obligations, just me, my thoughts, and an unlimited supply of hot water. Pure bliss. In fact, the peace and quiet was so profound the first night I forgot to set an alarm and almost missed my train the next day!
Bring a book, a journal, your favorite snacks, and just...be. It's a perfect reset button. Just remember the bubble bath dosage.
What about food? Is there a grocery store nearby, or should I bring everything?
Okay, let's talk food. This is important, people! There are shops, but "nearby" is a relative term. Plan ahead! Bring some basic supplies. Stuff for breakfast, snacks, vino. I learned the hard way that running out of coffee at 7 AM is a genuine crisis. A very grumpy, caffeine-deprived crisis.
There are a few local restaurants though. They're cozy, and serve *amazing* food. So, definitely factor in at least one meal out. It's part of the whole "experience".
Seriously, plan the food. Because hangry is never pretty, especially when you're trying to relax.
Anything I should absolutely NOT forget to bring?
Besides the obvious (swimsuit, toothbrush, etc.), here’s my must-have list:
- Good book. Or two. Or ten. You'll have time to read. Lots of time.
- Bathrobe. Essential sauna-to-bath peace. Plus, it just feels fancy.
- Slippers. Because cozy.
- Eye mask. For serious sleeping-in.
- Bug spray. You are in the country.
- Extra phone charger. You will be taking photos...everywhere. Especially of those bubbles.
- Patience with the Wifi (it's not the fastest. Embrace the digital detox!)
Oh and a sense of humour! You trip, you spill some bubbles...it happens. Embrace it!
