Escape to Hesse: Your Dream Garden Getaway in Willingshausen!
Escape to Hesse: My Dream Garden Getaway (Or Maybe Just a Really Nice Break?) - A Brutally Honest Review!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups! This isn't your sanitized travel brochure fluff piece. This is my experience at Escape to Hesse in Willingshausen, and honey, it was… well, let's just say it was a journey. A journey that started with high hopes and ended with a slightly bewildered but ultimately relaxed me.
Let's dive in, shall we?
First Impressions & Accessibility (or the Great Elevator Adventure!)
Okay, so the location itself is stunning. Nestled in the rolling hills of Hesse? Dreamy. Absolutely dreamy. Driving up, I was like, "Ooooh, Instagrammable!"… Seriously, the scenery is postcard-perfect. Finding it? Not so dreamy. My GPS, bless its digital heart, sent me on a scenic route that involved a lot of questionable turns and a near-death experience with a particularly aggressive cow. (Okay, maybe not near-death. But the cow was definitely judging my driving skills.)
Upon arrival, I immediately checked for Accessibility. Website said accessible, but you never know, do you? Well, mostly. The main areas are pretty good with ramps and elevators which were amazing. The elevator itself was a bit of a character, though. A little slow, a little clunky. One time, I swear I got stuck in it for a solid five minutes. My internal monologue went something like this: "Okay, don't panic… take deep breaths… am I going to die in an elevator in a charming German hotel?… At least the view is nice?" Luckily, I emerged victorious, but it just reinforced the fact that I need more exercise, especially since I wanted to get to the On-site accessible restaurants / lounges. I loved the convenience to everything.
Rooms & The Great Wi-Fi Conundrum (Seriously, What's Up With Wi-Fi?)
I opted for a room with a garden view. YES! The window that opens was a win! The air conditioning blasted a welcome blast, which was perfect after my Cow encounter. Blackout curtains? Check. Extra long bed? Check! Bathrobes and slippers? Yes, yes, and yes! (Luxury, I love you!) And the complimentary tea and coffee/tea maker? Essential for my survival.
Now, the Internet situation. The hotel boasts Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! And on their website there is Internet access – wireless available. Sounds promising, right? Wrong. It was…spotty at best. Constantly dropping out. I swear, I spent more time reconnecting than actually working. There was also Internet access – LAN available, but who travels with an Ethernet cable anymore? Seriously, Escape to Hesse, get your Wi-Fi game on!
Cleanliness, Safety & The Sanitization Symphony
This is where Escape to Hesse shines! They really took the whole COVID thing seriously. Anti-viral cleaning products, daily disinfection in common areas, hand sanitizer everywhere, and staff trained in safety protocol gave me a truly at ease feeling. I even got the option to Room sanitization opt-out. It’s like they were running a sanitization symphony! The Professional-grade sanitizing services were very appreciated. I saw the staff using sterilizing equipment and everything seemed sparkling. The individually-wrapped food options were a smart move.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking - Fueling the Relaxation
The food situation was a mixed bag. The breakfast [buffet] was a solid start to the day. They had Western breakfast and Asian breakfast. But one morning, the scrambled eggs tasted suspiciously like rubber. The Coffee/tea in restaurant was mediocre. But on the plus side, they have a salad in restaurant. The Happy hour at the Bar was great. I indulged in a few too many cocktails.
Things To Do, Relaxation Station!
Alright, this is where Escape to Hesse really delivers. After the harrowing elevator experience, all of the relaxation was a MUST. I loved it! The Pool with view was gorgeous. The Sauna was hot and steamy and amazing as a result. The Spa/sauna, and steamroom were my havens for absolute relaxation. I love a Body scrub and a Massage. I went to the Gym/fitness to prep my body and my mind. So very appreciated.
Services and Conveniences - The Little Things Matter
Escape to Hesse offers a bunch of convenient services. They have Daily housekeeping, Concierge, Laundry service, and even a Gift/souvenir shop. There is also Cash withdrawal, a huge weight off my shoulders. But, let's be real, the best convenience was the Car park [free of charge] because parking is a nightmare. I had to use the Taxi service a few times.
Now for the "Meh" Moments
- My first encounter with the staff. I was greeted, but then went to my room and the room wasn't ready. I was in a sour mood already.
- The food variety. The breakfast, lunch, and dinner were the same, but with a different seasoning.
The Verdict: Would I Go Back?
Despite the Wi-Fi woes and the elevator adventures, I'd probably go back. The location is breathtaking. The spa is divine. And after all the stress of the pandemic, a little relaxation is always welcome! I wasn't completely blown away by the dining. But for the price, it was really worth it. If you're looking for a relaxing getaway in a beautiful setting, Escape to Hesse is definitely worth considering. Just pack a good book and maybe a portable Wi-Fi hotspot! And don't be afraid to embrace the imperfections. After all, that's what makes life (and travel) interesting, right?
Escape to Paradise: Riverfront Apartment in Charming Bize-Minervois!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your glossy brochure itinerary. This is the REAL DEAL. Me, a holiday home in Hesse, a garden, and Willingshausen. Let's see how this unfolds.
The Hesse Heist: A Messy, Gloriously Human Adventure
Day 1: Arrival & Accidental Apfelstrudel Apocalypse
- 12:00 PM: Frankfurt Flughafen - Well, at least we landed. Anyone else find airport signage a personal insult? Like, "Oh, you can't figure out this tiny, barely legible map? Dumb human." Anyway. Picked up the rental car. It's a silver…thing. I swear, it looks vaguely German. Hoping it doesn't break down in the middle of a potato field.
- 2:00 PM: The Drive. Holy autobahn, Batman! Suddenly understand the German obsession with efficiency. People are flying. Me? I'm sticking to the right lane, clutching the steering wheel like it’s the last donut on earth. Also, side note: I need to practice the word "Stau" (traffic jam). Seemingly, everyone else in Germany knows it.
- 4:00 PM: Arrival at the Holiday Home (Willingshausen-Dorla). Oh. My. God. The garden. It's massive. Pictures don't do it justice, actually. Think overgrown Eden, but with more weeds. And a bird feeder. And a swing set that (fingers crossed!) can hold my weight. This place is amazing!
- 4:30 PM: Unpacking… or, more accurately, attempting to find anything amongst the suitcases that look like a bomb went off in them. Where's the corkscrew? Where's the coffee? Where's… Oh, damn. Left the adapter at home. Fantastic.
- 6:00 PM: The Apfelstrudel Incident. Wandered into a local bakery. "Ooh, Apfelstrudel!" I thought, visions of warm, flaky pastry dancing in my head. Bought a HUGE one. Tried to eat it. Ended up with apple filling EVERYWHERE. My clothes, my face, the kitchen counter. It was a disaster of the highest order. But… it was also the best Apfelstrudel I've ever had. Even with the mess and my messy face.
- 7:30 PM: Collapsed on the sofa. Jet lag. Apfelstrudel coma. Thinking about dinner. Pizza? Nah. Something… German. (But easy. Please, God, let it be easy.)
- 9:00 PM: Found some pretzels and cheap German beer. Feeling content.
- 11:00 PM: Bedtime. Falling asleep in the middle of a sentence.
Day 2: Finding Willingshausen’s Soul (and Maybe a Decent Coffee)
- 8:00 AM: Wake up. Coffee crisis averted! Found the French press. Victory! Spent a good hour just staring at the garden, listening to the birds. It's seriously therapeutic.
- 9:00 AM: Mission: Explore Willingshausen. This village. It's gorgeous! Cobblestone streets, half-timbered houses. Almost expected a fairytale princess to pop out. Except, you know, without the crippling anxiety about arranged marriages.
- 10:30 AM: The Künstlerdorf experience. Willingshausen is famously an artist's village. Went to the local art museum (or maybe it was an art gallery. I get confused). Saw some amazing paintings. Also, realized I have absolutely zero artistic talent. Zero. But enjoyed the art! Truly, truly enjoyed it.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch at a local Gasthaus. Ordered something that, according to the menu, was "hearty." It was, in fact, a plate of meat the size of my head. Delicious, though. Absolutely needed a post-lunch nap.
- 2:00 PM: Walk through the town again. Trying to absorb the atmosphere. Feeling a little… nostalgic? The air smells of baking bread and something else I can't quite put my finger on. Contentment, maybe? Also bought a postcard. Because I'm "that person."
- 4:00 PM: The garden. Spent the afternoon in the garden, reading. Sun on my face. Peace. Absolute, blissful peace. For about an hour and a half, until the mosquitoes discovered me. Bloody beasts!
- 6:00 PM: Attempting to grill some sausages. The smoke alarm is screaming. Turns out, I am not a grilling expert. Burned more than I ate.
- 7:30 PM: Ordered pizza. Crisis averted.
- 9:00 PM: Found the board games in the cupboard. Playing a game of… something. Which I will surely lose.
- 11:00 PM: Bedtime. Still falling asleep mid-sentence. Dreaming of Apfelstrudel.
Day 3: The Edersee Adventure & A Moment of Pure Joy (And a Little Panic)
- 9:00 AM: Day trip! To the Edersee lake. Beautiful views, allegedly. (The pictures were gorgeous at least). Loaded up the car with water bottles and snacks. (Remembered the adapter this time!)
- 10:30 AM: Arrived at the Edersee. Wow. The lake. It's breathtaking. The water. Crystal clear. The trees. Towering. Took a long walk around the lake. It was an amazing experience. Truly amazing.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch by the lake. Found a picnic spot. Sandwiches, apples, and the last of the Apfelstrudel (no filling explosions this time!).
- 2:00 PM: The Boat Ride That Almost Didn't Happen. Decided to take a boat ride. The boat was… small. And I am not a small person. Boarding was a comedy of errors. Almost fell in. Panicked for approximately three seconds. Then, we set off. The lake views were phenomenal.
- 3:30 PM: The Birdwatching. Spotted a heron. An actual heron! I'm not a birdwatcher, I swear! But it was gorgeous.
- 6:00 PM: Back at the holiday home. Completely exhausted but with a great mood and some photos that I will look back on and smile.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner: The “clean out the fridge” special. Pasta with questionable vegetables.
- 9:00 PM: Watched a film. Fell asleep halfway through.
- 11:00 PM: Bedtime. Getting the routine down, though falling asleep immediately is still a constant problem.
Day 4: A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That, and a Lot of Relaxation
- 9:00 AM: Slept in. Needed it.
- 10:00 AM: Wandered into a local shop. Bought some local sausage. And chocolate. Because balance.
- 11:00 AM: Spent the morning reading in the garden. Complete bliss.
- 1:00 PM: Cooked a simple lunch. Actually, the food might have been great!
- 2:00 PM: Walked around Willingshausen again, just enjoying the town.
- 4:00 PM: Contemplating a hike nearby, but the lure of the sofa is strong.
- 6:00 PM: Attempted to bake a cake. A complete disaster. The oven is now covered in something resembling tar. Clearly, baking is not my forte.
- 7:30 PM: Ordered more pizza. Thank God for pizza.
- 9:00 PM: Watched more TV.
- 10:00 PM: Packed a little.
Day 5: Departure & A Promise to Return
- 9:00 AM: Last breakfast in the house! Pretzel. Coffee. Some of the sausage I bought.
- 10:00 AM: Packed everything. Cleaned up. Said goodbye to the garden. I kind of liked the garden.
- 11:00 AM: The drive! Driving back to Frankfurt.
- 1:00 PM: Stopped for lunch. Said a final 'Auf Wiedersehen' to the road.
So, what *is* "Escape to Hesse" supposed to *be* anyway? Sounds...Vague.
Alright, alright, I'll try to explain. It's marketed as a… *breathes deeply* …"unique" (read: slightly off-kilter, but hopefully charming) experience in the heart of Germany. Picture, if you can, a garden – not perfectly manicured, mind you, more like a slightly overgrown, but lovable, rebel garden – nestled in the picturesque village of Willingshausen. Oh, it's supposed to be all about disconnecting, breathing in the air, you know, the usual relaxation tropes. Apparently, someone thought I'd be a good fit to, well, escape and *gush* about it. Me? Gush? I'm more of a "grumble appreciatively" kind of person. But hey, here we are.
Okay, garden. Sounds… nice. Is it actually *nice* nice, or… you know… aggressively mediocre nice?
Okay, this is where things get complex. The garden… the garden… Alright, let's be honest: my initial reaction was "Wow, that's… a lot of green." Beautiful, but there's a lot of *green*. Okay, Okay, it's actually quite lovely in certain moments. I remember walking through the rose bushes, sniffing at an open bloom, and thinking "Okay, this is… almost good." Then a bee went right up my nose and that feeling vanished. The people who run it are clearly passionate, you can tell. There's a messy, unpretentious honesty. But it's not the Ritz. There are some weeds, okay? Let's just own it. The paths get muddy when it rains. And the "secret waterfall" (a total marketing ploy, I later discovered) trickles along at a disappointingly slow pace. However, at night, bathed in the soft glow of the garden lights, the magic *does* happen (I'm just being nice because i had a few drinks one night, okay?).
What about the accommodation? Are we talking luxury or "rustic charm"? (Translation: do I need to bring my own toilet paper?)
Rustic. Charm. Yeah, okay. Let's just say "rustic charm." The rooms… they're clean. Very important point. And they have that authentic "old-world" feel, which translates to "slightly creaky floorboards" and "thin walls." I swear, I could hear the couple in the next room *clearly* (you get the picture). Bring earplugs. And, while the place provided toilet paper, I'd bring your own favorite brand. Trust me. And... the shower pressure? Well, let's just say I walked around feeling like a damp, slightly disappointed, hedgehog afterwards.
Food, glorious food! What's the grub scene like? Are we eating bratwurst and sauerkraut 'til we explode? I kinda want to explode.
Oh, the food. My relationship with the food was…complicated. I, a vegetarian, was promised a vegetarian haven. They delivered. The breakfasts were *amazing*. The bread, the local cheeses, the fresh fruit. I could have stayed at that breakfast buffet all day. And the coffee? Proper, strong, German coffee. Glorious. The meals, however, outside of breakfast, were…variable. I had one meal that was so bland, I’m pretty sure the chef forgot the salt. Then another night, the chef was channeling their inner Picasso. It was all art and no substance. I did, however, get to sample the local Willingshausen Schnitzel, which was… well, it was a lot of meat. Delicious, though. Just… a lot. I would say don’t be afraid to venture out; the local restaurants are quite good, though maybe not all vegetarian-friendly.
What's there *to do* besides, you know, looking at plants? My attention span is shorter than a goldfish.
Okay, fellow goldfish-brained friend, listen up. There are options. There are trails, and the area is gorgeous. The village itself is unbelievably picturesque. Seriously, you can't walk five feet without tripping over a postcard-worthy scene. If you're into history, there is the local museum (which, admittedly, I didn't get around to visiting, though the outside was pretty). They also offer workshops of some sort. I didn't get around to attending anything (I did a lot of reading and napping).
Tell me a story. Give me a concrete, messy, imperfect anecdote about your stay. I want the *real* deal.
Alright, fine. I spent one afternoon trying (and failing) to master the art of mushroom foraging. I was determined. I'd read all about it, about the thrill of the hunt, the connection to nature, blah, blah, blah. Armed with a basket and a guidebook, I ventured into the nearby forest. I walked. And walked. And walked. I found a snail. A very large, very slow snail. Then, I tripped over a root and nearly face-planted. My basket landed in a puddle. I started to *sweat*. I saw a squirrel. I think it was laughing at me. Then the rain started. I ran back, defeated, utterly covered in mud, clutching a handful of… twigs. The whole thing was a disaster. I still laugh when I think about it. It was a perfect illustration of my inability to be a nature person. But it was *memorable*. And that's kind of the point, isn't it? It's those little disasters that make a trip, a life, worth living.
Would you actually *recommend* "Escape to Hesse"? Be honest! My expectations are low, so you can't really disappoint me.
Okay, here's the thing. "Escape to Hesse" isn't perfect. It's not polished, it's a little rough around the edges, and at times, it's downright hilarious. But it's *real*. And in a world of perfectly curated Instagram feeds and filtered experiences, that counts for something. You might not find a five-star resort, but you'll get a genuinely charming village and garden, some decent grub, a healthy dose of awkwardness, and a story or two to tell. And, if you're anything like me, you'll embrace the chaos. So, yes, I recommend it. Just… pack your own toilet paper. And maybe a good book (and a sense of humour is a must).
