Escape to Paradise: Luxurious Sauna & Garden House in Chiny, Belgium
Escape to Paradise: A Chiny Conundrum (aka, My Sauna-Scented Odyssey)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to spill the steaming hot tea on Escape to Paradise: Luxurious Sauna & Garden House in Chiny, Belgium. Picture this: me, desperately needing a break from the soul-crushing monotony of… well, everything. And this place? Honestly, the brochure photos promised a slice of heaven. Did it deliver? Let's dive in, shall we? (And yes, I’m still slightly smelling of eucalyptus after my entire experience there.)
Accessibility - A Mixed Bag, But Mostly Good News (Phew!)
Okay, first things first, because I know it’s important. Accessibility seems pretty decent. The website mentioned facilities for disabled guests, which gave me a little hope. I didn't personally need them, but I’m always looking out because, you know, inclusivity! There were elevators, and the general layout looked pretty sprawled out (less cramped!), but I'd recommend contacting the hotel directly for specifics. Gotta check those boxes before you go chasing waterfalls… or, you know, saunas.
Internet - Praise the Wi-Fi Gods!
Seriously, if there's one thing that’s a MUST for me, it’s Wi-Fi. I'm a digital nomad, remember? I need to be connected to whine on Twitter, or, you know, work. Escape To Paradise gets a gold star for Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! And everywhere else too. I mean, c’mon, it's the 21st century. Imagine a luxurious sauna without the ability to scroll through Instagram whilst contemplating your existential dread? Shudder. The fact that it had Internet [LAN] as an option, I actually didn’t even try it, I am so glad that the wifi was sufficient.
Things to Do - Sauna, Sauna Everywhere! (And it's Glorious)
This, my friends, is where things get really good. Forget your troubles, because this place is basically a spa playground.
- Sauna: Obviously, the star of the show. And oh boy, it did not disappoint. Seriously, the sauna was like stepping into a cloud of pure, blissful warmth. The smell of the wood, the rhythmic hiss of the water on the coals, and the feeling of your stress just… evaporating. I basically lived in the sauna for a solid afternoon. It was my primary way to relax and I loved it. The only downside, it could get a little crowded sometimes, but let's be honest, who could blame them?
- Pool with View: The outdoor pool was fabulous. I did a few laps. Beautiful.
- Spa/Sauna & Steamroom: All of the above! I swear, I spent half my vacation time in there..
- Massage: I treated myself to a deep tissue massage. Worth. Every. Penny. I was walking on clouds for the rest of the day. Seriously can't emphasize enough how good it was.
- Fitness Center: Honestly, I glanced at the gym, but I was too busy being a sloth with a face mask on. Maybe next time.
Cleanliness and Safety - Feeling Safe (Maybe a Little Too Much So)
Okay, so here's where the hyper-vigilance of the post-pandemic world felt very present. And I mean, good for them for going above and beyond, I guess. All the safety protocols were in place, maybe a little too much so. They had anti-viral cleaning products, daily disinfection in common areas, hand sanitizer everywhere, individually-wrapped food options, professional-grade sanitizing services… you get the idea. I appreciated the effort, but it occasionally felt like I was living in a sterile medical facility. Which, honestly, probably isn't a bad thing in the long run. The staff were well-trained in safety protocol, but sometimes it felt a little robotic. Still, the peace of mind was worth it.
Dining, Drinking and Snacking - Food, Glorious Food! (Mostly)
The dining situation was a bit… complicated.
- Restaurants, Bar and Poolside Bar: The restaurants were decent, but the menu felt a little… generic. They offered international cuisine, Western cuisine, Asian cuisine. I had the soup on first night and it was very good. The bar was good, a wide selection of cocktails. I spend a good portion of my time there.
- Breakfast [buffet]: Breakfast was the saving grace. The buffet was extensive and the Asian breakfast was a treat. Great Coffee.
- Room service [24-hour]: I made use of this quite a bunch!
Services and Conveniences - The Little Extras That Matter
The concierge was super helpful, pointing me in the right direction for some local sights. The daily housekeeping was flawless, which I appreciated. And the air conditioning in public areas was a lifesaver because… heat is awful
For the Kids - Didn't See Any, But They Seem Sorted
No kids of my own, but they do seem to cater to families.
Available in All Rooms - My Little Sanctuary
The room itself? Actually pretty fantastic.
- Air conditioning: Essential.
- Coffee/tea maker: Morning savior.
- Free bottled water: Hydration is key.
- Bathtub, separate shower/bathtub: Luxurious!
- Blackout curtains: Finally, some sleep.
- Internet access – wireless: Yay!
- Mini bar: Always a bonus.
Getting Around - Easy Peasy (with a caveat)
Car park [free of charge]: Easy parking.
Is Escape to Paradise Really Paradise?
Look, it ain't perfect. The food could have been slightly better, and the overly-cautious safety protocols felt a bit much at times. But honestly, the sauna? The gorgeous pool? The general feeling of luxurious relaxation? Absolutely worth it.
My Final Verdict:
Go. Go now. Book a trip. Drown yourself in the sauna. Indulge, de-stress, and leave feeling like a completely new human being. Just don't forget your swimsuit… and maybe a book. (Or, you know, your phone for endless scrolling.) Chiny awaits!
Escape to Paradise: Your Dream Mediterranean Villa Awaits in Cavtat, Croatia
Operation: Sauna Bliss & Belgian Chaos - A Travel Disaster (Maybe?)
Participants: Me (the planner, currently regretting my life choices), Sarah (the sensible one, probably secretly judging me), Dave (the joker, guaranteed to lose his passport), and Emily (the free spirit, thrives on chaos).
Destination: Fine group house with a sauna and garden in Chiny, Belgium. (Sounds idyllic, right? Famous last words.)
Duration: 7 Glorious Days of potential wellness, guaranteed awkwardness, and probably a lot of beer.
Day 1: Arrival - The Great Belgian Shuffle
- Morning (Approx. 6:00 AM, Brussels Airport): Okay, so the flight was delayed. Surprise, surprise. Sarah, bless her heart, has already rebooked the rental car. She's probably using her meticulous Google Sheets skills, while I, fueled by lukewarm airport coffee, am trying not to weep. Dave's already lost his phone. Emily is cheerfully humming and wearing a flower crown. Seriously?
- Late Morning (Brussels Airport - Chiny - Eventually): Okay, first the car. Then the GPS. We're pretty sure we're lost. Multiple wrong turns later, we're now navigating a tiny, cobblestone village, which, I'm going to be honest, is gorgeous. But the rental car is NOT built for cobblestones. I'm pretty sure I heard a wheel explode. Dave is claiming credit for "exploring alternate routes". He's a menace.
- Afternoon (Chiny - The House! God, I hope it's real): We found it! The house is… bigger than the pictures. And the garden! It's sprawling, with a hammock strung between two trees. Maybe this isn't so bad. I can practically smell the sauna already.
- Early Evening (Chiny - Unpacking, House Tour, Initial Panic): Unpacked. House tour commenced. Found the sauna. It's… small. Like, really small. Could be an issue. Emily is already attempting a yoga pose in the garden, and immediately nearly trips over a gnome. Dave claims he's "befriending it." Panic starting to set in that I should have planned this better.
- Evening (Chiny - Belgian Beer & Disappointment): We attempt to use the wood-fired sauna. Fail. There is smoke everywhere. We are getting roasted. It tastes like burnt wood in there. The beer is delicious though. I'm already questioning my planning abilities (again).
Day 2: Sauna Redemption & Hiking Hysteria
- Morning (Chiny - The Sauna - Take Two): Attempt number two at the sauna. We actually manage it this time! Success! Sweat, relaxation, and a brief moment of bliss. Then… Dave accidentally pours water on the rocks and the sauna nearly explodes in a cloud of steam. Good lord.
- Late Morning/Afternoon (Chiny - Hiking Trails - AKA "The Quest for the Waterfall"): Sarah, in her infinite wisdom, planned a hike. Apparently, Chiny has "stunning" forest trails. After 3 hours of following a map designed by a toddler, we stumbled upon… a small, trickling stream. No waterfall. Just a slightly muddy stream. Emily claims she's "one with nature". I'm questioning nature's map reading skills too.
- Late Afternoon (Chiny - Chocolate & Meltdown): We find a local chocolatier. Beautiful chocolates, everything is artfully crafted. Then Dave accidentally knocks over an entire display. Sarah is on the verge of a breakdown. I've decided chocolate therapy is required. I'm starting to feel this trip might be better off as a bad memory in ten years.
- Evening (Chiny - Dinner & Therapy (the beer kind)): We found a little restaurant and the beef stew was pretty good, maybe a bit too greasy. Discussed the chocolate incident. (Again). Emily has a great idea to build a bonfire, and Sarah is already yelling at her. I hide and drink my beer.
Day 3: Durbuy - The "Smallest City in the World" & the "Lost Passport Incident"
- Morning (Chiny - Durbuy Bound): A day trip to Durbuy, the "smallest city in the world". The car smells strangely of smoke from yesterday's sauna debacle. Dave is singing show tunes. I'm starting to think earplugs are a travel essential.
- Late Morning/Afternoon (Durbuy - Tiny City, Big Crowds): Durbuy is actually pretty cute. The cobblestone streets are charming, the shops are adorable, and the views are lovely. Emily buys a hat that makes her look like a woodland fairy. Disaster strikes as Dave can't find his passport. Cue screaming and panicking!
- Late Afternoon (Durbuy - Passport Panic & Crepe Crisis): The passport hunt commences! We look everywhere. Dave is claiming he “left it in the magical woods in the Belgium”. Eventually, we retrace our steps, and (thankfully) find the passport. Sarah nearly faints. I'm now convinced this is a reality show. To celebrate/calm down, crepes are ordered.
- Evening (Chiny - Food and the aftermath of passport chaos): Back at the house. Debriefing on the passport saga. We are still on edge. This is the most stressed I've been in a while. Dave is still bragging, Emily is laughing, and Sarah is pouring herself a strong drink. I join her.
Day 4: Sauna, Lazy Days, and More Beer (Repeat)
- Morning (Chiny - Sauna Rehab): Today, we're attempting to make the sauna a place of peace. We actually succeed. The sauna doesn't burst into flames.
- Late Morning/Afternoon (Chiny - Garden, Books, and Sunbathing): A day of doing precisely nothing. Reading. Sunbathing. Hammock-swinging. Emily tries to teach us how to identify birds in the garden, which leads to a lengthy debate about the proper way to pronounce "chough." The debate is far too interesting. This is the best day so far.
- Evening (Chiny - Cooking, Card Games, and Late-Night Laughs): We attempt to cook a proper Belgian meal. It turns out reasonably well. We play cards, and I win, mainly because everyone else is too tipsy to focus. Late-night talks and laughter. Maybe this is why I planned this trip.
Day 5: Castle Adventures & Brewery Bliss
- Morning (Chiny - Castle Trip, the Quest for the "Grand Châteaux"): Visit an actual castle. It's majestic and beautiful and the view of the river is magnificent.
- Late Morning/Afternoon (Chiny - Brewery Visit): We visit a local brewery. The beer is amazing. Dave, predictably, tries to sneak into the fermentation tanks. Sarah's actually smiling. It's a good day.
- Evening (Chiny - Beer Belly, and karaoke evening): Karaoke night at the house. Turns out, Dave sings surprisingly well, but Emily's version of “Bohemian Rhapsody” is… a performance. Sarah actually joins in. I am having the best time.
Day 6: Market Mayhem & Spa Struggles
- Morning (Chiny - Market Trip): We visit the local market to find food for our last meal.
- Late Morning/Afternoon (Chiny - Sauna Attempt): We try to use the sauna, again. Fail. I give up.
- Evening (Chiny - Last night, memories, and hopes for a good trip): I decide to be the sober one for the last night. We gather for the last dinner. Tears are shed. We actually are going to miss each other.
Day 7: Departure - The Great Un-Shuffle
- Morning (Chiny - Packing, Cleaning, & The Sad Goodbye): Packed. Cleaned (mostly). Left the house in what I consider to be a semi-respectable state.
- Late Morning (Chiny - Airport - Departure): Goodbye hugs. Tears (maybe). Dave is surprisingly quiet. Emily is still wearing her flower crown. Sarah is probably calculating the damage to her Google Sheets.
- Afternoon (Brussels Airport - Reflections): Delayed Flight. Again. I'm tired. This trip was a disaster. Also, maybe the best one ever. Would I do it again? Ask me in six months. Right now, I need a nap. And maybe a whole lot of therapy.
Escape to Paradise: Your Burning Questions (and My Rambling Answers)
Right, so you're thinking of ditching reality and hopping over to this "Escape to Paradise" place in Chiny, Belgium. Smart move. I did it. And let me tell you, it's less a brochure and more a… well, you’ll see. Let's tackle the FAQs, shall we? But be warned, I might wander off on tangents. It's just how my brain works.
1. What *exactly* is "Escape to Paradise"? Is it actually paradise?
Okay, let's get this straight. It's a fancy-pants sauna and garden house. Think minimalist chic meets "I need to disappear from the world." They call it paradise. Honestly? It depends on your definition. Is it *literal* paradise, complete with angels playing harps and infinite chocolate fountains? Nope. Is it a slice of heaven for a weary soul? Possibly. I went in expecting… well, a curated Instagram feed. I left feeling like I'd actually, properly, relaxed. And maybe, just maybe, I'd found a tiny bit of my own personal nirvana in the quiet. More on that later…
2. Is it REALLY luxurious? Or just… pretentiously minimalist?
Okay, *this*. The luxury? It's there. The wood is gorgeous, the sauna smells like a forest, and the hot tub...oh, the hot tub. Prepare to be amazed. They've got all the little details right. The robes are fluffy, the tea selection is impressive, and there are these ridiculously comfortable chairs scattered around inviting you to do exactly nothing. But here's the thing: it's not *ostentatious* luxury, which I appreciate. It's more understated, like a silent scream of "I’ve got money, but also good taste." Look, I'm not a fan of conspicuous consumption, and this felt... genuine. Mostly. I did, however, almost trip over a strategically placed rock at one point. It was a bit like a minimalist obstacle course. But, I'll say, the imperfections here only increase the perfection. I loved it. I want to move into the house.
3. What's the sauna like? Is it proper hot? Is it a tiny closet?
OMG. Okay. The sauna. Let me tell you about the sauna. Forget tiny closets! This is legit. It's big. It's beautiful wood on the inside. And yes, it's *proper* hot. Like, "I might spontaneously combust" hot. But in a good way! A cleansing, sweat-dripping, "I think all my worries are evaporating" kind of way. I went in there, and I swear, *all* the tension in my shoulders just melted away. I'm talking years of stress, gone. Poof. Except the heat is so intense, I had to keep hopping out to cool off in the garden. Which, speaking of….
4. The garden... is it just a lawn?
No, no, no. The garden is *gorgeous*. It's not a formal, manicured affair, thank god. It feels wilder, more natural. There are winding paths, hidden spots to sit and contemplate your existence, and… trees! Lots of trees. I spent an embarrassing amount of time just wandering around, pretending to be a sophisticated nature expert (I am *not*). There's a little stream trickling by which does wonders for sound. And I saw a rabbit! A real, live, fluffy rabbit! It was a moment. This made me oddly emotional, I don't know why, but I felt... at peace. I love rabbits now, and streams, too.
5. What's the hot tub like? Worth it?
The hot tub… *siiiigh*. Worth it? Darling, it's the *reason* to go. It’s like sinking into a warm, bubbly hug. Picture this: Darkness falling. The stars are twinkling. You’re wrapped in bubbles. Steam fills the air. All your cares… gone. I spent a solid hour in there, just… *existing*. I even did some serious stargazing. I haven’t felt that relaxed in… well, ever. And when I eventually made it out? My skin felt like silk. Pure bliss.
6. Is it kid-friendly? My kids are… energetic.
Um… probably not. Unless your kids are tiny zen masters who are content to sit quietly and meditate for hours. This is a place for peace and quiet. I can't even imagine the chaos. Think quiet contemplation, not running amok. I wouldn't want to be responsible for scaring the rabbits away.
7. Is it romantic? Would it be a good place for a couples getaway?
Oh, absolutely. It’s dripping with romance. Think crackling fire, cozy corners, and the opportunity to actually *talk* to each other without the distractions of everyday life. I saw couples in here, and they all looked like they were in a romcom. There's something about the shared experience of the sauna, the hot tub, the quiet… it just brings you closer. (And yes, I was there alone, and still felt the romance. Romance with myself and the silence)
8. Anything I should be aware of? Any downsides?
Okay, here's the truth. It's not *cheap*. It's an investment in your well-being, but be prepared to spend a few euros. Also, it’s in the middle of nowhere. Chiny is lovely, but you're not exactly close to a bustling city center. Embrace the quiet. Oh, and I had a truly bizarre moment when I tried to adjust the temperature in the sauna. Accidentally hit the wrong button and thought I'd broken the whole damn thing. Panic! Pure, unfiltered panic! Turns out, I hadn't. But, just be warned – tech sometimes makes you feel incompetent, especially in a sauna. Oh, and make sure you pack your own snacks and drinks. There's no room service - you are on your own. I also got a bit lost trying to find the firewood at one point. Minor hiccups, tbh. It's all partHotel Haven Now
